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;Hey, what's that in your eye? Awww, it's a twinkle. Looks like Cupid's arrow found somebody's hole. Well, I'm feeling it too, but it's probably because the motherfucking Jesus and Mary Chain are reuniting — at least for one Friday at the gluttonously hip Coachella Music Festival. Playing with the brothers Reid will be Phil King (Lush) and Loz Colbert (Ride). According to their publicist, there may be a U.K. show in the fall, but this is the only one planned so far. If there really is a God, they'll get the itch and tour.


;My sleazy valentine

;;Those who stand on the corner of musically discerning and romantically mischievous should consider picking up A Date With John Waters, a Valentine's compilation curated by the reliably creepy auteur himself, for your favorite piece of ass. Naturally, themes like sexual orientation (Josie Cotton's "Johnny, Are You Queer?") and gender-bending (Elton Motello's "Jet Boy Jet Girl") are here, in addition to raw heartbreak (Ike and Tina Turner's "All I Can Do Is Cry"). But the true, ahem, masterstroke was the inclusion of the wickedly charming country ditty "In Spite of Ourselves" by John Prine and Iris DeMent, one of the funniest, most twisted love songs ever written. Playfully naughty, darkly humorous and tastefully selected, it's a delicious little soundtrack to whatever legally questionable things you plan on doing together that night.


;Man-on-man action

;;You guys remember that lovable provocateur, OW music editor Jason Ferguson, dontcha? Well, I thought I'd bring the rascal back to weigh in on the big Red Hot Chili Peppers concert at Amway Arena we both attended:

;;Me: What stood out most to you?

;;Jason: How old I am. When we were standing in line for beer, I saw the "You must be born before this date in 1986" Budweiser sign and couldn't help but add, "… to have been ALIVE when the first RHCP record came out." Plus, it was unavoidable how old the band itself is. When Kiedis gets applause for the occasional bouncy jump — this is a guy who used to literally run circles around his bandmates for entire sets — and doesn't even work up a sweat the entire show … well, that's a very different Chili Peppers from the one I knew. I didn't expect 'em to run around with socks on their dicks, but I didn't think they'd deliver on my Spinal Tap "jazz odyssey" joke either.

;;Me: But there's something to be said about a band that's learned to mature gracefully, especially considering that they could've either outrun the stampede of far less talented imitators that their own limited template begat or been consumed by it. They evolved and that's why they survived. Still, dick-socks would've earned big respect.

;;JF: Well, like you said that night, there are two very distinct groups of RHCP fans, those who remember "True Men Don't Kill Coyotes" and those whose only recollection of the band is from their midtempo years of late. Despite the fact that they're a decidedly different band now and that Frusciante is an absolute guitar god, they're extraordinarily limited creatively. They've only ever really written four songs — "Fight Like a Brave," "Suck My Kiss" "Under the Bridge" and "By the Way"; everything else is just a version of those. I don't know about you, but I only heard three of 'em at the show, and the dear, departed Hillel Slovak would be disappointed to find out which one got left off. How about you?

;;Me: I'll admit that my perspective of RHCP has always been a distant one. Back in the day, they were that dippy funk-punk band that the guys I skated with listened to. Now they're that huge band I can't help but pay attention to. But, unlike their contemporaries on the radio, their songs don't make me want to ram surrounding motorists off the road.

;;JF: But seriously, wasn't it just boring? The band seemed bored, that's for sure.

;;Me: Not coma-inducing but, yes, very professional. But perhaps apples ought to be compared to apples. They may've started out an orange, but the apple they've become is a mainstream, chart-topping rock band. Judging them among other apples, it wasn't a bad display.

;;JF: All they had to do was play "Backwoods" instead of a freakin' Andy Gibb song and I would have been fine.


;Florida's busted!

;;My Super Bowl Sunday was interrupted by phone calls tipping me off about the calamity that went down at the Social for the Floridas Dying CD release party. According to various sources, police raided the show due to reports of onstage nudity and ended up arresting Fashion! Fashion! and the Image Boys frontman Erik Grincewicz, who was performing, and Fred Mullins (ex-Fantasie). More on this next week.

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