October 21, 2022

The most miserable places in Orlando

Whoever said hell is other people was probably an annual pass holder.

Orlandoans had one thing on their mind when we took to Reddit to seek out the worst spots in the City Beautiful: traffic. The endless tangle of highways and suburbs that we generously call a city has led to some serious headaches in area hotspots. The end result of car dependency — outside of needless deaths and respiratory problems — is massive traffic snares.

A better world is possible. For now, let's just bitch. Here are some of the "top" picks for the worst places in all of Orlando. Feel free to let us know what we missed. 
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The intersection of Turkey Lake Road and Sand Lake Road
This cursed intersection was the most-hated place in Orlando by far. Across its seemingly endless expanse of always traffic-clogged lanes, misery is produced by the ton.
Google Maps

The intersection of Turkey Lake Road and Sand Lake Road

This cursed intersection was the most-hated place in Orlando by far. Across its seemingly endless expanse of always traffic-clogged lanes, misery is produced by the ton.
Outside of baggage claim at MCO
Local weather phenomenon turn this portion of the airport into a mini-swamp, a fitting greeting to anyone looking to get the Florida experience in brief.
MCO/Facebook

Outside of baggage claim at MCO

Local weather phenomenon turn this portion of the airport into a mini-swamp, a fitting greeting to anyone looking to get the Florida experience in brief.
The Winter Park Trader Joe's parking lot
TJ's have a nationwide rep for chaotic parking lots but this lot combines rabid fanbases of both the grocer and Shake Shack for a particularly hellish stop along N. Orlando Ave.
Google Maps

The Winter Park Trader Joe's parking lot

TJ's have a nationwide rep for chaotic parking lots but this lot combines rabid fanbases of both the grocer and Shake Shack for a particularly hellish stop along N. Orlando Ave.
The entrance to Waterford Lakes Town Center This four-lane, four-way stop has stressed out many an Orlandoan, including any budding city planners who have to wonder if a roundabout or a full-fledged stoplight would serve better.
Adobe

The entrance to Waterford Lakes Town Center

This four-lane, four-way stop has stressed out many an Orlandoan, including any budding city planners who have to wonder if a roundabout or a full-fledged stoplight would serve better.
Reams Road
This backroad might seem peaceful in pictures, but it turns into a madhouse during rush hour thanks to its proximity to the House of Mouse.
Google Maps

Reams Road

This backroad might seem peaceful in pictures, but it turns into a madhouse during rush hour thanks to its proximity to the House of Mouse.
The Home Depot at Millennia
Home improvement stores can either be bright places brimming with possibility or a cursed pit of despair fronted by a parking lot of rage. There is no in-between. Many Orlandoans seem to think this Home Depot is the latter.
Google Maps

The Home Depot at Millennia

Home improvement stores can either be bright places brimming with possibility or a cursed pit of despair fronted by a parking lot of rage. There is no in-between. Many Orlandoans seem to think this Home Depot is the latter.
Anywhere on foot
Everything we said about bikes goes double for pedestrians. Orlando is one of the deadliest cities in the US for walkers. Get right with God before stepping off the curb and into the path of an SUV driver completing their Starbucks mobile order.
Photo via John Pastor on Flickr.

Anywhere on foot

Everything we said about bikes goes double for pedestrians. Orlando is one of the deadliest cities in the US for walkers. Get right with God before stepping off the curb and into the path of an SUV driver completing their Starbucks mobile order.
Crane's Roost Park
This Altamonte Springs park is lovely most days. However, Orlandoans noted that the vibe completely shifts during Independence Day celebrations. This tranquil park becomes a dense maze of people and cars.
Google Maps

Crane's Roost Park

This Altamonte Springs park is lovely most days. However, Orlandoans noted that the vibe completely shifts during Independence Day celebrations. This tranquil park becomes a dense maze of people and cars.
On line at Dumbo
This particular slice of the Disney park got singled out as an awful time, with Jungle Cruise and Sliky Dog rides coming in close second and third.
Disney

On line at Dumbo

This particular slice of the Disney park got singled out as an awful time, with Jungle Cruise and Sliky Dog rides coming in close second and third.
Anywhere on a bicycle
All of the suggestions for miserable places in Orlando are that way because of cars. Add in eyelines that sit above the average Panzer tank and blindspots the size of three Ron DeSantises laid end-to-end and you have a recipe for disaster.
Adobe

Anywhere on a bicycle

All of the suggestions for miserable places in Orlando are that way because of cars. Add in eyelines that sit above the average Panzer tank and blindspots the size of three Ron DeSantises laid end-to-end and you have a recipe for disaster.