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click to enlarge Some compare Gaetz to fictional congressman and tool Jonah Ryan on HBO's 'Veep'

Photos via Matt Gaetz/Twitter and HBO

Some compare Gaetz to fictional congressman and tool Jonah Ryan on HBO's 'Veep'

Test yourself: Is this something we called Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz, or something Jonah Ryan was called on Veep

If you enjoy politics and TV, you were probably a fan of Veep, Armando Ianucci's seven seasons of West Wing-proximate bickering that ended in 2019, after somehow being outdone by reality from about 2016 on. Much as Veep's writers saved all their most exquisite insults for Jonah Ryan — the feckless Hill aide who rode a Trumpish wave to the House of Representatives — there's just something about Rep. Matt Gaetz that brings out our inner Mean Girls. Below is a list of insults — some that were applied by us to Gaetz, some by Veep to the Jonad. Can you pick which are which? Find the answers at the end of this quiz.

1. An animatronic Texas preacher at the world's saddest Chuck E. Cheese

2. A large-headed physical manifestation of a 4chan thread

3. The world's biggest single-cell organism

4. A sentient enema

5. Frankenstein's monster, if his monster was made entirely of dead dicks

6. A very normal human being and not at all a bag of raccoons working in unison to resemble a real congressman

7. A guy with the police sketch face of a rapist

8. One of the finest and most talented people in Congress

9. A congressman propping up what remains of his human form on the House floor

10. Herman Munster's brother who liked to molest that pudgy werewolf kid

11. A plus-size homunculus

12. Florida's 1st District congressman and the state's largest boy

13. A milkshake attractor

14. One Erection

15. A racist ascot that's somehow animorphed into the shape of a congressman

16. Andre the giant jagoff

17. Three kids stacked on top of each other in a suit

18. Jolly Green jizzface

19. Looks like a possum ate a pile of crap

20. 12 Years a Slave to jerking off

21. The 60-foot virgin

22. A sitting Florida Republican congressman who apparently was elected to defend whatever Trump tweets that particular day


1. Orlando Weekly, 2. Orlando Weekly, 3. Veep, 4. Veep, 5. Veep, 6. Orlando Weekly, 7. Veep, 8. EXTRA CREDIT! Trump called Gaetz this, 9. Orlando Weekly, 10. Veep, 11. Veep, 12. Orlando Weekly, 13. Orlando Weekly, 14. Veep, 15. Orlando Weekly, 16. Veep, 17. Orlando Weekly, 18. Veep, 19. EXTRA CREDIT! Alex Jones said this about Gaetz, 20. Veep, 21. Veep, 22. Orlando Weekly.


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