HELP US KEEP REPORTING. DONATE TO ORLANDO WEEKLY PRESS CLUB.

Supreme injustice 


Twas two weeks before Christmas, and all through the land
;Most votes had been counted (though not all by hand!);
;The election was over, with nary a winner,
;For the margin of vict'ry just couldn't be thinner.

All eyes were on Florida -- breathing was bated --
;While waiting for votes to be retabulated;
;The courts were all clogged, the lawyers suing,
;The crowds all a-dither -- some cheering, some booing.

The Bush folks were livid, sure their man had won,
;While the Gore people barked, "It ain't done till it's done!
;"A little more time, please; we'd really be glad,
;"If you'd count every dimple and each pregnant chad!"

But George had his brother, and Jeb had his gal,
;(How 'bout Katherine Harris? -- a heck of a pal!)
;And in case things got scary, they'd unleash their pet "meany,"
;With his own electors. (Of course, I mean Feeney!)

But in Leon County, State Court reigned Supreme:
;An edict went out, "Let the count reconvene!"
;The canvassers scurried, the cameras went whirring,
;While up in D.C. a great evil was stirring.

With a few hours gone, and a couple to go,
;Five grinches, a-fearing what the recount might show,
;Yelled, with power unchecked, and partisan fervor:
;"The law is at risk! It's our duty to serve her!"

"We're Rehnquist! O'Connor! We're Tony Scalia!
;"We're Kennedy! Thomas! And here's the idea. ...
;"You'll stop all this counting, by certiorari!
;(We know how we got here. ... and Jim Baker's so scary!)."

"Plead briefly before us, till this is resolved
;(Though we can't even say why we're getting involved);
;"But this case is so special, we'll break with tradition
;(To hell with "states' rights" or the voters' volition!)."

The sides went a-pleadin', the arguments flew,
;About justice and freedom and the rights of the few;
;But the five, they were heedless, their minds not obeyin'.
;No! Precedent, law nor the facts could not sway 'em.

Though Ginsburg and Souter and Stevens and Breyer
;Appealed to their cohorts: "Consider things higher. ...!"
;They stood fast in their evil, and firm in their mission,
;Court Jesters Supreme on the road to perdition.

The five grinches postured, by end of the day
;(While cloaking their crimes in a cynical way):
;"Your ‘standards' are fuzzy, you'll need to renew 'em!
;"Whoops, there goes the time! Guess you'll never redo 'em!"

And so the case ended, in jumbles of gibber
;That even the pundits could hardly configure;
;With votes left uncounted, an aborted election --
;The dubious outcome of. ... "equal protection."

When Al Gore conceded (though most thought he'd won),
;The saga was over, the nation. ... undone.
;The White House was robbed by five grinches in black.
;(And once it is taken, it's hard to get back.)

So with Christmas upon us, all revels and cheer,
;It's time to reflect on this dastardly year,
;When breached were the walls of democracy's fort.
;And the "will of the people"? Bush-whacked by the Court!


We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Orlando Weekly. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Orlando Weekly, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at feedback@orlandoweekly.com.

Orlando Weekly works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of Central Florida.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep Orlando’s true free press free.

Latest in Real Politics

Newsletters

Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Read the Digital Print Issue

November 25, 2020

View more issues

Calendar

© 2020 Orlando Weekly

Website powered by Foundation