Pointed humiliation
An occasional ass-kicking can keep that ego in line. For those of you who fancy yourselves dart throwers, your chin-checkin' will come courtesy of Hoops Tavern, where ample doses of humility are served with each bull's-eye that's nailed by the darts experts who frequent the joint. Don't fret. After your pride is torn to shreds, build it back up with America's favorite remedy: alcohol, which Hoops has to the nines.
(Hoops Tavern, 47 W. Amelia St., Orlando; 407-843-5618)
Peace awaits where Seminoles once died
Powdery white sand. Room to spread out. No crowds. Palm trees. Ah yes, the beach. Here's one you've never heard of, and it's closer to Orlando than Cocoa, in Seminole County. You can even drive on it (but unless you have four-wheel drive, you'll probably get stuck). It's the beach at the end of Lake Harney Road, on Lake Harney near Geneva. You were expecting the ocean? This 6,268-acre body of water was named after 2nd Lt. William Selby Harney, who fought in the 1st United States Infantry during the First Seminole War (1817-1818). As legend goes, Harney and his men camped on the scenic spot, only to have a band of Seminoles make a sneak attack in the dark of night. When one warrior sliced through Harney's tent, the officer had nowhere to run but out into the water, which saved his life.
(From State Road 46, midway between Sanford and Mims, take a left on North Jungle Road until it intersects with Lake Harney Road. Turn right and keep driving until you reach the water or get stuck.)
(From State Road 46, midway between Sanford and Mims, take a left on North Jungle Road until it intersects with Lake Harney Road. Turn right and keep driving until you reach the water or get stuck.)Work out in the dark
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Best place to shoot pool 1st — Sportstown Billiards 2414 E. Robinson St., Orlando; 407-894-6258; www.sportstownbilliards.com 2rd — Trick Shots 740 Florida Central Parkway, Longwood; 407-331-5393 trickshotsbilliards.com 3rd — Spatz Deli & Billiard Liquor 1025 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park; 407-647-3354 Best place to bowl 1st — Aloma Bowl 2530 Aloma Ave., Winter Park; 407-671-8675; www.alomabowlingcenters.com 2nd — Boardwalk Bowl 10749 E. Colonial Drive, Orlando; 407-384-0003; www.alomabowlingcenters.com 3rd — Colonial Lanes 400 N. Primrose Drive, Orlando; 407-894-0361; www.coloniallanes.net Best local sports team 1st — Orlando Predators 2nd — Orlando Magic 3rd — UCF Golden Knights Best place to work out 1st — Central Florida YMCA (multiple locations) www.centralfloridaymca.org 2nd — LA Fitness (multiple locations) www.lafitness.com 3rd — Fitness Partners Workout Center 1002 West SR 436, Altamonte Springs; 407-671-4995; www.fitnesspartnersworkout.com Best yoga studio 1st — College Park Yoga 706 W. Smith St., Orlando; 407-999-7871; www.collegeparkyoga.com 2nd — Full Circle Yoga 972B Orange Ave., Winter Park; 407-644-3288; www.fullcircleyoga.com 3rd — Red Door Yoga 6908 Aloma Ave., Winter Park; 321-438-0771; www.reddooryoga.com Best public golf course 1st — Dubsdread Golf Course 549 W. Par St., Orlando; 407-246-2551; www.historicaldubsdread.com 2nd — Winter Pines Golf Course 950 S. Ranger Blvd., Winter Park; 407-671-3172 3rd — The Country Club at Deer Run 300 Daneswood Way, Casselberry; 407-699-9592; www.countryclubatdeerrun.com Best miniature golf course 1st — Pirate’s Cove 8501 International Drive, Orlando; 407-352-7378; www.piratescove.net 2nd — Congo River Adventure Golf 6312 International Drive, Orlando; 407-352-0042; www.congoriver.com. 3rd — Fantasia Gardens Miniature Golf Course Walt Disney World Resort, Lake Buena Vista; 407-560-8760; disneyworld.disney.go.com Best place to skateboard 1st — Van’s Skatepark 5220 International Drive, Orlando; 407-351-3881; www.vans.com 2nd — Orlando Skate Park 400 Festival Way, Orlando; 407-898-9600; www.orlandoskatepark.org 3rd — Mesh Skatepark 881 W. Warren Ave., Longwood; 407-657-2002; www.meshskatepark.com Best river to canoe/kayak 1st — Wekiva River 2nd — Econlockhatchee River 3rd — St. Johns River Best city park 1st — Lake Eola Park 195 N. Rosalind Ave., Orlando; 407-246-2827; www.cityoforlando.net 2nd — Central Park Park Avenue, Winter Park; 407-599-3334; www.ci.winter-park.fl.us 3rd — Fleet Peoples Park 2000 S. Lakemont Ave., Winter Park; 407-599-3399; www.ffpp.org Best place to camp 1st — Wekiwa Springs State Park 1800 Wekiwa Circle, Apopka; 407-884-2008; www.floridastateparks.org/wekiwasprings 2nd — Ocala National Forest Visitor Information Center, 10863 E. Highway 40, Silver Springs; 352-236-0288; www.southernregion.fs.fed.us/florida/ 3rd — Fort Wilderness Resort & Campground 4510 N. Fort Wilderness Drive, Lake Buena Vista; 407-824-2900; disneyworld.disney.go.com Best place to walk dogs 1st — Lake Eola Park 195 N. Rosalind Ave., Orlando; 407-246-2827; www.cityoforlando.net 2nd — Fleet Peoples Park 2000 S. Lakemont Ave., Winter Park; 407-599-3399; www.ffpp.org 3rd — Greenwood Urban Wetlands 1411 Greenwood St., Orlando; 407-246-2283; www.cityoforlando.net Best theme park 1st — Islands of Adventure Universal Orlando Resort, 1000 Universal Studios Plaza, Orlando; 407-363-8000; www.universalorlando.com 2nd — SeaWorld Orlando 7007 Sea Harbor Drive, Orlando; 407-351-3600; www.seaworld.com 3rd — Magic Kingdom Walt Disney World Resort, Lake Buena Vista; 407-824-4321; disneyworld.disney.go.com Best theme-park ride 1st — The Incredible Hulk Coaster Islands of Adventure, Universal Orlando Resort, 1000 Universal Studios Plaza, Orlando; 407-363-8000; www.universalorlando.com 2nd — Dueling Dragons Islands of Adventure, Universal Orlando Resort, 1000 Universal Studios Plaza, Orlando; 407-363-8000; www.universalorlando.com 3rd — Revenge of the Mummy — The Ride Universal Studios Florida, Universal Orlando Resort, 1000 Universal Studios Plaza, Orlando; 407-363-8000; www.universalorlando.com Best water park 1st — Wet ’n Wild 6200 International Drive, Orlando; 407-351-1800; www.wetnwild.com 2nd — Blizzard Beach Walt Disney World Resort, 1801 W. Buena Vista Drive, Lake Buena Vista; 407-560-9283; disneyworld.disney.go.com 3rd — Typhoon Lagoon 1500 W. Buena Vista Drive, Lake Buena Vista; 407-560-4141; disneyworld.disney.go.com |
Like to go all vamp while you pump up? At World Gym on Semoran, the giant workout area is drenched in the perfect midnight-black hue, a lighting effect accomplished by having only a quarter of the overhead lights on. If you want that dungeon feel where you can work up a sweat or stumble stomach-first into a barbell, this is the gym for you.
(World Gym, 1900 S. Semoran Blvd., Orlando; 407-249-5506; www.wgorl.com)
Straight shooter
Giddyup, partner. Want to play with guns? Want to hear the crack of a rifle in your hands and obliterate everything in sight? Here's a chance to employ real cowboy diplomacy: Pro Bass Shops Outdoor World at Festival Bay is equipped with a fancy arcade-style shooting range. So what if it's all plastic and laser beams — tell that to the mechanical skunk you just dropped. Go ahead, ring that bell, make that bucket spin and the piano play by itself. If that doesn't do it for you, pretend you're aiming at that mean boss or unforgivable sexual partner. Just keep pumping in those quarters. The satisfaction is endless.
(Bass Pro Shops Outdoor World, 5156 International Drive, Orlando; 407-563-5200; www.basspro.com)
(Bass Pro Shops Outdoor World, 5156 International Drive, Orlando; 407-563-5200; www.basspro.com)Dog park horror
It's a dark scenario: Excited barks and playful yelps turn into shrieks of terror, when, Amity Island-like, the pooch-friendly environs of Fleet Peeples Park are transformed into a brunch buffet for Lake Baldwin's increasingly agitated alligator population. Imagine bloody canine carcasses littering the shore and children weeping — at least those who haven't been eaten — while the SUV-driving, dog-loving masses who flood the best dog park in town flee in terror. For now, there's a mere warning sign that gators have been spotted. Though one 6-foot-long beast was pulled out of the lake in May, does that lessen the danger? Absolutely not! You should always live in fear, especially if it prevents you from playing outside with your companion animal. Be afraid.
(Fleet Peeples Park, 2000 S. Lakemont Ave., Winter Park; 407-599-3399; www.ffpp.org)
Stroke victims
Crowded or popular? It's all in how you look at this highly utilized golf course that doesn't charge outrageous fees or limit access to members. Set in the middle of the family-oriented Winter Park Pines neighborhood, the 40-plus-years-old Winter Pines Golf Course appeals to democratic duffers who practice fairness on the fairway. The 18-hole, par 67, Lloyd Clifton—designed course is a beautiful, well-maintained public facility with reasonable fees. It challenges proficient players yet sports an atmosphere that doesn't intimidate novices. It's a sign of true civilization.
(Winter Pines Golf Course, 950 S. Ranger Blvd., Winter Park; $14.50-$24.50; 407-671-3172)
Dock it
Pretend it's a beautiful day and you're cruising out on Lake Dora in your yacht. Now it's time to stop at Mount Dora for a sandwich and a stroll, but it seems like the city's docks are always full. Don't fret; you'll find beautiful, clean, new floating concrete docks to tie up at nearby at Grantham Point — each one 5 feet wide and 240 feet in length, offering moorage for 50 boats — thanks to a renovation project finished up in 2004. Spot the lighthouse on the eastern shore of Lake Dora and these fine docks will be to your right. They're free, and so is the adjacent boat ramp. It's a short walk up the hill to the quaint streets of Mount Dora.
(Grantham Point, at the end of Liberty Avenue south of Tremain Street, Mount Dora)
Be a racing star!
Fun, fun, fun. So you think you're Jeff Gordon? Get out there and prove it on the go-kart tracks at Fun Spot Action Park. Feel your face freeze with glee as you climb the towering, twisting incline and descend its slopes of doom. Mom and dad can ride the Ferris wheel while you race past that pesky brother or sister who's always telling you what to do. Bump the back of their car just right, and you might spin them and whoops!, there's no reverse, so they'll be stuck.
(Fun Spot Action Park, 5551 Del Verde Way, Orlando; 407-363-3867; www.fun-spot.com)
Find sanity on lazy river
Need a break from strip malls and traffic? The Econlockhatchee River is the ideal spot for soothing travel back to simpler times. Get out of your car, take a short hike and suddenly you're in the Florida that grandma and grandpa used to natter on about. The Econ is equipped with white-sand banks, lazy, tea-colored water and umpteen places to picnic or camp — there are even rope swings hanging from mossy old oak trees! It's like Disney's version of Old Florida, except it's fun and it's free. The river has many entry points, but a fail-safe favorite is the area where the Econ runs under Snow Hill Road, north of Chuluota.
(www.dep.state.fl.us/gwt/guide/regions/ eastcentral/trails/econlockhatchee.htm)
Cheap snooze in the sand
Who doesn't want to live on the beach like some millionaire condo dweller? Camp at Gamble Rogers Memorial State Recreation Area and be lulled to sleep by the ocean's waves for just $23 a day! It's named after the famous Florida folk singer who died there in 1991 while trying to save a drowning Canadian tourist, so the mojo's good, too. And the first weekend of May, St. Augustine hosts the Gamble Rogers Folk Festival to honor the musical traditions of the Florida troubadour.
(Gamble Rogers Memorial State Recreation Area, 3100 South A1A, Flagler Beach; 386-517-2086; www.floridastateparks.org/gamblerogers)
