HELP US KEEP REPORTING. DONATE TO ORLANDO WEEKLY PRESS CLUB.

Put those callers on hold 


At last -- a technological device we truly need!

Leave it to the Japanese to find a way for us to combat the intrusiveness of modern technological gadgetry ... with another gadget. In this case, the technological Darth Vader that we're combating are those clamorous, infuriating cell phones. No matter where you are -- in a coffee shop, at the theater, even in church for God's sake! -- there's likely to be some yo-yo yacking into a cell phone as loud as can be, acting super important and generally being a full-fledged public pest.

So you sit there stewing, trying your best to ignore the noise, even while your mind involuntarily plots various brutally painful ways to murder the S.O.B. But wait, say Japanese entrepreneurs, we've got a better way for you to stifle the technological terrorism of cell phones: a jamming device.

According to an AP story out of Tokyo, you can get a short-range jammer there that renders these rude phones mute. No calls can come in, none can go out -- it effectively turns the blankety-blank cell phone off.

The standard jammer only has a radius of about 20 feet, but that's enough to shut-down any cell-phoner who's yammering away in a restaurant or who takes a call in a movie theater. At $480 each, the devices are pretty pricey, but just imagine the sheer joy of jamming some jerk in mid-sentence -- that's gotta give you a priceless thrill!

Of course, where there's progress ... there's a bureaucracy trying to squash it. Japan's ministry of communications, probably carrying water for the cell-phone makers, has ruled that the jammers can be used only in theaters or concert halls, claiming that "malicious use of jammers could threaten the integrity of the phone system." Hey, what about the malicious use of cell phones?

They'll get my jammer when they pry my cold, dead fingers from around it.


We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Orlando Weekly. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Orlando Weekly, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at feedback@orlandoweekly.com.

Orlando Weekly works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of Central Florida.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep Orlando’s true free press free.

Speaking of Jim Hightower

More by Jim Hightower

Newsletters

Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Read the Digital Print Issue

October 21, 2020

View more issues

Calendar

© 2020 Orlando Weekly

Website powered by Foundation