;JULY 5, 2:07 P.M.: Fireworks no longer dazzled night skies when one man returned to a work scenario that was anything but celebratory.


;Sometime in the three days prior, some unknown suspect or suspects raided a beauty-supply shop in the 3100 block of West Colonial Drive. They pried open the rear door, and the spree began. Nail buffers, flat irons and paraffin wax, oh my; no depilator would be safe today. Police reports state the perp or perps removed "approximately 7,000 hair pieces from the two southernmost shelves of the business." And it doesn't stop there. Also considered essentials: an assortment of "hair conditioners, shampoos, relaxer cream, hair oil, men's hair products and hair dye" from a series of seemingly endless shelves were removed, reports add. Not done yet. An unknown amount of hair jewelry, hair dryers, clippers and various other high-end hair products also vanished.


;;It's too bad inventory at the shop hasn't been conducted in more than two years, reports state, because our complainant is clueless as to how many items were stolen. All serial numbers for any of the hair dryers, clippers, etc. might as well have been flushed down the crapper, too, because the owner "does not know where to find the paperwork," reports add. What is known is that replacing all the beauty booty will cost approximately $60,000.


;Nothing like being prepared in case of an emergency.


;JULY 5, 6:20 P.M.: The summer heat is clearly making O-Town criminals crazy.


;Case in point: A 44-year-old woman was driving her ice cream truck around an apartment complex in the 4800 block of Raleigh Street. As she cruised in the treat-filled mobile – likely filling streets with sugar-sweet jingles like "Yankee Doodle" and "The Entertainer" – a customer approached. She parked her truck for the prospective Popsicle buyer and sated his syrupy needs just as a second customer approached.


;There wasn't a damn thing this young man would do for a Klondike bar, however. Instead, he popped a small black handgun up to the driver's face and demanded some quick cash. Although the victim should have whacked the punk in the face with a Nestle Drumstick, police reports state, "she was scared and she handed him approximately $100 in cash." He took the wad of bucks and raced off, as did the first customer, who is believed to be an accomplice.


;Sure, cash is an easy pleaser, but why anyone would pass up the opportunity to raid a truck full of Dove bars and Oreo ice-cream sandwiches in 90-degree weather is beyond us.


;JULY 7, 6:04 P.M.: A 20-year-old lady shopped in the 5400 block of Touchstone Drive this sunny weekend, oblivious to the robbery that would soon take place. She strolled in front of a popular clothing store when an "older model, red Chevrolet Geo" with an unknown tag, police reports state, came whizzing past her in a reckless manner. Thankfully, the speeding Geo didn't crash into the young lady, but something almost equally as disturbing did happen: As the car cruised past, a single arm slipped out of the window, just missing the woman's purse but "striking her stomach with an open hand" instead, police reports add. After slapping the lady in the belly, the approximately 20-year-olds manning the vehicle hauled ass out of the plaza, heading toward Grand National Drive handbag-free.


;JULY 8, 2:55 A.M.: While employees of a gaming store in the 3900 block of South Semoran Boulevard either slept or pretended to be musically adept while shredding on Guitar Hero in their own living rooms, an unknown suspect or suspects burgled their store.

;;Tools unknown were employed to remove door hinges, granting access to this haven for geeks. One might imagine the suspect or suspects hitting the aisles, pillaging copies of Halo 3 and Warcraft, but that didn't happen. Our suspect(s), instead, headed straight for the bathroom, where every nerd's wildest fantasy lay: gaming consoles galore. Stolen were six PlayStation 3 gaming consoles valued at $599 each, five Xbox 360 Elite consoles valued at $479 each, four Xbox 360 consoles valued at $399 each, two defective Xbox 360 consoles valued at $399 each and one defective PSP speaker valued at $59.99, police reports state.


;One employee notes he did observe a faded brown Caravan-type minivan parked in front of the store after hours. The driver of the car – described as a man approximately 35 years of age having a black beard, thin arms and a protruding belly – asked employees if they had any more PlayStation 2 consoles, according to police reports. The suspect sounds like someone who's spent entirely too long worshipping Lara Croft behind locked doors to this author.


;While damages will cost $500 to repair, total value of stolen gameware is estimated to be $9,400.


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