click to enlarge Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Opening in Orlando: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, Collateral Beauty and more 

NOW PLAYING: Collateral Beauty When a movie's credit lines include "Helen Mirren as Death" and "Keira Knightley as Love," you usually want to sit up and take notice – that is, if you hope to someday win the Jeopardy category "Hollywood Fiascos." Will Smith is obviously hoping for better from his latest self-improvement parable, in which a bereaved fella sends impassioned letters to the universe at large, only for the universe to respond. (Christ, I can't even get Gmail to work properly.) Smith is citing the loss of his father during the production process as a major contributor to his performance, which means if the movie tanks, he's a shoo-in for the next season of Dancing With the Stars. If it's a hit, look for a Disney Channel spinoff, Kids' Letters to Death. (PG-13)

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story I recently became a commenter on a site that reassesses science fiction films and TV shows of the last century. (Don't ask.) The folks who run the site are big producers of corporate tie-in fiction – the kind of quickie novels Harlan Ellison once described as belonging to the "Spock Pops a Zit" school. So of course these guys are obsessed with the idea of "continuity," which means combing through every line of dialogue in 50-year-old teleplays to make them conform not only to one another, but also to the innumerable offshoot films and series they have since inspired. I mention this because Disney's new generation of Star Wars flicks has engendered all manner of hand-wringing on the part of obsessive fanboys who are simply devastated that said flicks are rendering piles of video games and animated series "non-canonical." Faced with that sort of profound disillusionment, it's hard to introduce an alternate viewpoint – like, say, NOBODY CARES. So remember to be gentle when you check out Rogue One this week, and you hear the muffled sobbing of those who know none of this could have happened because Grand Moff Tarkin never wore a turtleneck. (PG-13)


All We Had For her directorial debut, Katie Holmes has cast herself as a single mother struggling to keep herself and her teenage daughter afloat in the aftermath of the great economic collapse of 2008. The film has received an extremely limited release and lukewarm reviews; meanwhile, Tom Cruise is getting ready to meet the Mummy. That Scientology, it really sets you up. (NR)

The Bounce-Back A self-styled relationship expert falls hard for a TV therapist who can see right through his bullshit. In the picture's heartwarming conclusion, they both realize it's Shelley Duvall who has the real problems. (PG-13)

Menorca Stop me if you've heard this one: A soccer mom bonds with her son by helping him return his pet rock to its purported home of Spain. See, if they had taken it back to Capistrano, that would have been too much to swallow. (NR)

My Ex-Ex A woman's attempt to rekindle an old relationship with the help of a psychic goes awry when she fails to specify just which ex she's talking about. Tramp! (NR)

Sadie's Last Days on Earth Quirks abound as a Canadian high-school senior becomes convinced the world will end on Dec. 21, and goes about setting her personal affairs in order accordingly. Silly Canuck: Everybody knows it's going to be Jan. 20. (NR)

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