Premieres Wednesday: The Christmas Chronicles 2 – Kurt Russell's Santa is back to thwart a "mysterious troublemaker" who wants to end Christmas forever. Listen, Tucker Carlson tried to warn you people about AOC, but you called him a kook! (Netflix)
Happiest Season – Kristen Stewart stars as a lesbian whose plans of proposing to her girlfriend over the holidays hit an unexpected snag. If Stewart really wanted to stretch, she'd play someone whose plans for Christmas involved staying awake. (Hulu)
Uncle Frank – Alan Ball wrote and directed this dramedy about a gay man (Paul Bettany) on a road trip that leads to a personal reckoning. Epiphany No. 1: It isn't worth driving cross-country just to bring NoDoz to Kristen Stewart. (Amazon Prime)
Premieres Thursday: 12 Dates of Christmas – Enjoy the first three episodes of a reality show in which a trio of singles all try to come home from Austria with a new mate. Meanwhile, you're lucky if you can come home from Publix with four rolls of Charmin. (HBO Max)
The Flight Attendant – Burnishing the image of women in the workplace, Kaley Cuoco plays a flight attendant who wakes up next to a corpse after a night of blackout partying. File this under "RBG died just in time." (HBO Max)
Mosul – A New Yorker article inspired this film about an Iraqi SWAT team that goes up against ISIS terrorists. And with World War Z co-writer Matthew Carnahan in the director's chair, the worst part is knowing they're fast-moving terrorists. (Netflix)
Superintelligence – Melissa McCarthy discovers that her household appliances are wired into a high-tech conspiracy in a movie that was supposed to hit theaters last Christmas, but was shifted to HBO Max at the 11th hour – supposedly at the behest of the creative team and not the studio. Riiiight. Tell it to the toaster. (HBO Max)
Premieres Saturday: Black Beauty – Is there room for any creative spin in the umpteenth adaptation of the oft-filmed 1877 novel? I don't want to give anything away, but check it out: This time, Black Beauty is a sloth. (Disney+)
Dance Dreams: Hot Chocolate Nutcracker – Two of the most ironclad rules of show business are that 80 percent of all ballet performed is The Nutcracker and 100 percent of all choreography on TV is by Debbie Allen. So here's The Nutcracker as choreographed by Debbie Allen! (Netflix)
Life in a Year – Jaden Smith portrays a young man who's determined to show his terminally ill girlfriend a good time. Two words: bowling montage. (Amazon Prime)
Virgin River – In Season 2 of the romance series about a small-town nurse (Amanda Breckenridge), we're going to learn about the wartime experiences that left emotional scars on some of the male characters. Because the main thing you want in a romance is a little PTSD. (Netflix)
Premieres Tuesday: Angela's Christmas Wish – The latest Frank McCourt-inspired animated special finds little Irish Angela trying to reunite her family for the holidays. Sounds like a tall order, lass. Would you settle for four rolls of Charmin? (Netflix)
