Jonathan Van Ness' long-running podcast gets a Netflix series adaptation this week, plus 15 more streaming premieres

"Getting Curious With Jonathan Van Ness"
"Getting Curious With Jonathan Van Ness" photo courtesy Netflix

Premieres Wednesday: American Rock Stars — My pet peeve is when the term "rock star" is applied to people who work in fields other than actual rock music. "He's like a rock star of accounting!" Yeah, get back to me when his first Texas Instruments calculator is framed and hanging on the wall above a family of tourists eating $30 hamburgers. Even worse is using "rock star" to refer to athletes — as is the case with this docuseries about the USA Men's Olympic Curling Team. The only point of congruence I will accept there is that practically killing yourself pushing a bunch of cumbersome stones around the floor is sort of a description of what Jagger has to do every time every time he goes on stage. Otherwise, pass. (Peacock)

Premieres Thursday: Bunker — When I saw the title, I was kind of hoping for a gritty prequel to All in the Family. Instead, what we have in store is a Mexican sitcom about a failed husband and father who withdraws to a hidey-hole in his basement. So I guess you could say it's more like Married With Children crossed with Panic Room. (HBO Max)

Gomorrah — The fifth and final season of the Italian crime drama begins with an attempted mob hit at a family funeral. See, all along, I've been thinking those Baldwin-Fairchild ads were just missing something, and now I believe we all know what it was. (HBO Max)

I Am Georgina — Spanish model Georgina Rodriguez gets her own reality series to show off the glamorous life she's living while awaiting the arrival of twins with soccer great Cristiano Ronaldo. Those two kids will join the daughter the couple already has, the other set of twins Ronaldo had via surrogacy, and the son he fathered with a woman he agreed not to name. If nobody gets a spinoff out of all this, show business is dead. (Netflix)

click to enlarge "Take Out With Lisa Ling" - PHOTO COURTESY HBO MAX
photo courtesy HBO Max
"Take Out With Lisa Ling"

Take Out With Lisa Ling — Ling's first project for HBO Max was supposed to be a travel series titled Birth, Wedding, Funeral, but the pandemic apparently scuttled that. (Either that, or somebody belatedly realized it sounded too much like Fuck, Marry, Kill). In its place is six-episode inquiry into the timeless appeal of Asian-American restaurants. If you've ever wondered why a Chinese buffet is a nominally better source of sushi than a gas station, this is the show for you. (HBO Max)

Premieres Friday: The Afterparty — For their new series project, the great Phil Lord and Christopher Miller (The Lego Movie, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse) appear to be trying for a mash-up of Rashomon and National Lampoon: When murder strikes at a high-school reunion, the participants all prove to have very different perceptions of the event. Seems like a bit of a throwback, given that high-school reunions had gone the way of the dodo long before the pandemic. But I guess it's too hard to kill somebody on Facebook Live. (Wait for Meta!) (Apple TV+)

All of Us Are Dead — South Korea offers us its take on the zombie apocalypse, with a horde of deranged flesh-eaters attacking the students at an ordinary high school. Now there's a reunion you're going to want to keep to Zoom. (Netflix)

Feria: The Darkest Light — The setting is an Andalusian village and the time frame is three decades ago as two sisters are horrified to learn that their parents were responsible for the deaths of 23 innocent people. Of course, that was when you had to kill strangers the hard way instead of just trusting your own immune system. (Netflix)

Getting Curious With Jonathan Van Ness — His profile raised by the Queer Eye reboot, the hairdresser-turned-media-personality launches a series adaptation of his long-running podcast. Each episode features expert analysis of a subject Van Ness finds interesting, from gender identity to snacks. The main difference I can see: When you find a snack that feels right for you, it never lets you down. (Netflix)

Home Team — In the minds of most right-thinking people, a movie can either be based on truth or it can star Kevin James. Yet this comedy is shooting for both, casting America's überschlub as a disgraced NFL coach who takes charge of his son's Pop Warner team. The story was inspired by the New Orleans Saints' involvement in Bountygate, in which players were found to have been paid bonuses for injuring their opponents. As opposed to the real point of pro ball, which I guess is to engage everybody in a spirited discussion of Sartre or something. (Netflix)

The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild — Hard to believe this franchise is now 20 years old; did the real ice age last that long? Film No. 6 has Simon Pegg's titular weasel leading an expedition to the fabled Dinosaur World. I'm expecting legal action out of Plant City any minute now. (Disney+)

In From the Cold — With a ripped-from-the-headlines relevance Kevin James could only envy, this suspense series follows an American single mother as she realizes she can't hide from her past as a genetically improved KGB agent. For more on the adventures of the physically augmented and desperate, remember: The Pam & Tommy series is coming next week! (Netflix)

The Legend of Vox Machina — A Dungeons & Dragons campaign by gamer geek Matthew Mercer has blossomed into an animated series about a band of adventurers who undertake a magical quest in order to pay off a bar tab. (Amazon Prime)

The Orbital Children — Conceived in Japan as a two-part theatrical feature but being shown here as a two-season streaming series, director Mitsuo Iso's futuristic drama focuses on a bunch of kids who are forced to fend for themselves after a catastrophic accident in deep space. By the time the show debuts, there's every chance its U.S. version will have been renamed Yeet the Parents. (Netflix)

The Woman in the House Across the Street From the Girl in the Window — Kristen Bell may or may not have witnessed a murder in a darkly comedic miniseries that sounds like a gender-reversed Rear Window (or, if you got your degree at Full Sail, Body Double). The show's title was expanded at the last minute from The Woman in the House, which is the sort of last-minute brand tinkering I can actually get behind. I just wish they had added "... in Bed." (Netflix)

Premieres Tuesday: Raising Dion — In Season 2, the 7-year-old superhero gets a new adult mentor while dealing with the arrival of a creepy classmate with powers of his own. Remember when the worst you had to fear from from your lab partner was “eats paste”? (Netflix)

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