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click to enlarge Meredith Hagner, Yvonne Orji, Lil Rel Howery and John Cena in 'Vacation Friends'

Photo courtesy of Hulu

Meredith Hagner, Yvonne Orji, Lil Rel Howery and John Cena in 'Vacation Friends'

John Cena is hilariously crass in Hulu’s ‘Vacation Friends,’ premiering Friday 

Premieres Wednesday: Open Your Eyes — Your week’s bingeing begins with a six-episode series about a teenager who’s committed to a mysterious asylum after an accident kills her entire family. The show is supposedly targeted at the younger set, which raises an important question: How out of touch does a programmer have to be to think any viewer under the age of 21 would consider losing their entire family in one fell swoop to be a bad thing? (Netflix)

Post Mortem: No One Dies in Skarnes — While you wait for the third season of What We Do in the Shadows, here’s a Norwegian dramedy about a woman whose vampirism may be just what’s needed to keep her family’s funeral-home business afloat. Apparently, she’s never heard that old saw, “Don’t shit where you feast.” (Netflix)

Premieres Thursday: Monster in the Shadows — This docuseries probes the disappearance of Alabama mother Brittney Wood, and the light it shone on her history of familial abuse and exploitation. “No, wrong Britney” — Jamie Spears. (Peacock)

The Other Two — What can we expect in Season 2, as siblings Cary and Brooke continue to wrestle with the newfound fame of their younger brother, Chase? Well, the episode titles that have been leaked indicate that Chase will be going to college, getting baptized and guest-editing Vogue. So if I were the other two, I wouldn’t be banking on many opportunities for schadenfreude just yet. (HBO Max)

Premieres Friday: Disney Princess Remixed — An Ultimate Princess Celebration — Did you know it’s World Princess Week? Well, it is! And to celebrate, Disney is presenting a bunch of reimagined performances of its classic princess songs. Our narrator: 12-year-old social-media influencer Txunamy Ortiz. I hear that as soon as the show wraps, she’s going to be mapping out the September issue! (Disney+)

He’s All ThatMean Girls director Mark Waters is responsible for this gender-swapped remake of 1999’s She’s All That. But wait a minute: If we’re trying to appeal to a new generation, isn’t the concept of gender-swapping itself pretty darn binary? Shouldn’t it be They’re All That? Oh, and Rachael Leigh Cook is back from the original, albeit in a completely unrelated role. Which should take a lot of the pressure off if you’re trying to remember who in the hell she was. (Netflix)

Pete the Cat: Back to School Operetta — The feline star of kidlit and kartoons stars in an utterly timely special for the new school year. Well, it’ll be timely if the story happens to involve an outbreak of roundworms that sends Pete’s entire class back home to quarantine after only two days. Otherwise, it’s dead in the water. (Amazon Prime)

See — Dave Bautista joins the cast for Season 2, playing the brother of Jason Momoa’s tribal leader in a world where most humans have gone blind and the sighted are branded as heretics. Now all we need is for Bautista to channel some of that straight-shooting Drax energy and break it to Momoa that he’s actually a grotesque freak. Because talk about living in a world full of blind people. Sheesh. (Apple TV)

Titletown High — Just another reality series about a championship high-school sports team? Maybe not, since the twist here is that the Valdosta Wildcats were caught up in a corruption scandal that involved cash payments to the football players and their parents. Yeah, but until they get a cut of that watery orange drink that’s sold at halftime, I’m calling exploitation. (Netflix)

Vacation Friends — This feature-length comedy dares to explore one of the thorniest issues facing Black Americans today: Should you be friendly to white people you meet while on vacation, or will it just open the door to them showing up unannounced at your wedding? Oh, and they also might not want you to be able to vote. But let’s save that mess for C-SPAN. (Hulu)

Premieres Tuesday: Only Murders in the Building — The Odd Trio of Steve Martin, Martin Short and Selena Gomez comes together in a comedy series about two old duffers and one hot young chick who take their true-crime obsession into the real world. Sounds like the kind of setup we used to get from Woody Allen, before we realized his entire career should be filed under “true crime.” (Hulu)

Sparking Joy with Marie Kondo — The pop-culture breakout star of 2019 returns with a new series of life-simplifying tips that just seem way less important now for some reason. Oh yeah, it’s because YOUR UNCLE’S ON A VENTILATOR. (Netflix)

Untold: Crime & Penalties — And to close out your week on a note of the bizarre, here’s a reminder that the mobsters who were allegedly the inspiration for The Sopranos once ran a minor-league hockey team that got into more scrapes than the cast of Slap Shot. Oh, you didn’t know any of that? You were probably too busy fixating on Rachael Leigh Cook. If that was indeed her name! (Netflix)

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