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Get to know the twelve Christmas cats of Orlando, and maybe bring one home 

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click to enlarge PHOTO BY TOM PITERA
  • Photo by Tom Pitera

Mac

AGE: 3 years

GENDER: Male

STAR SIGN: Libra

CURRENT HOME: Orange County Animal Services

CELLMATE NUMBER: A391919

COMFORT FOODS: Mac & cheese (hint: I'm the Mac)

GUILTY PLEASURE: Smoking a little cannabis ... all the time

HIDDEN TALENT: Ability to light said cannabis without possessing thumbs

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION: To further my wardrobe of multi-colored, ruffly collars with little bells on them

MOST SUCCESSFUL PICKUP LINE: "Are we in a litter box? Because I'm diggin' you."

FAVORITE BAND: Pussy Riot

FAVORITE HANGOUT: Behind the couch, barely out of sight, so I can swat at unsuspecting messy man-buns and other fading fashion statements, like giant scarves

FAVORITE PLAYWRIGHT: Tennessee Williams, particularly Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

click to enlarge PHOTO BY TOM PITERA
  • Photo by Tom Pitera

Horton

AGE: 2, but this is only my first of nine lives

GENDER: Male (definitely male, very male, so male it hurts)

STAR SIGN: Taurus

CURRENT HOME: Orange County Animal Services

CELL NUMBER: A392429

TURN-ONS: Birdwatching (or, as some felines call it, "birding"), bird-eating, eating other small available rodents, Tucker Carlson

TURN-OFFS: "Dog people," vacuum cleaners, bodies of water, pretty much all water, the satisfaction people get out of putting pet sweaters on me

GUILTY PLEASURES: Watching YouTube videos of people falling down, long naps,pawing at and chasing Christmas ornaments

MOST SUCCESSFUL PICKUP LINE: "It's meow or never, babe."

FAVORITE BOOK: Conscience of a Conservative by Barry Goldwater

FIVE-YEAR PLAN: To nail this adoption profile so I won't end up eating out of the dumpster behind Hooters

DREAM JOB: To hunt your run-of-the-muck house mice

PET PEEVE: When I get tape on the bottom of my feet

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