Ewwww, SCARY! 

Download the links below to print out your own Mask

Mask - Accessories

Wow, U.S. Rep. Alan Grayson is one scaaaaaary dude. Those beady eyes. That imposing build. The (now shorn) Rasputinesque beard. The Harvard diploma. The federal deficit—sized ego. He's the liberal under your bed who's gonna come out at night, drink your milkshake and take your handguns! We shudder at the mention of him. (One staffer, Billy Manes, hides under his desk whenever Grayson's name comes up and won't come out until coaxed with a menthol cigarette.)

Grayson sure gave Republicans a start with his summary of their health insurance plan, delivered on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives: "If you get sick, America, the Republican health care plan is this: Die quickly! That's right. The Republicans want you to die quickly if you get sick."

He said that! He really did! Even emphasized the "die quickly" part, just to make sure no one misunderstood. And when Republicans demanded an apology, guess what? He said no! No apology for you! What's more, he twisted the knife by apologizing instead to the people who died because they didn't have health insurance! Do you understand how scary this man is? HE COMMUNICATES WITH THE DEAD!

And if that isn't horrific enough for you, now he's got a website called Names of the Dead ­— — where he catalogs the stories of people who paid the ultimate price for not having access to health care in the richest nation on earth. Only a truly dark, evil genius could enlist the legions of the dead in beating Republicans at their own game.

So cut out the mask on the cover and glue it to a piece of cardboard — or print the handy PDF from our website — and terrify Republicans in your neighborhood this Halloween. (Use the accessories on this page to customize your costume. It's fun!) Now, if you'll excuse us, we have to go find a menthol cigarette to get Manes out from under his desk.

Tags: ,

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Orlando Weekly. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Orlando Weekly, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at

Orlando Weekly works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of Central Florida.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep Orlando’s true free press free.


Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Read the Digital Print Issue

April 14, 2021

View more issues


© 2021 Orlando Weekly

Website powered by Foundation