click to enlarge 1000w_10-14_bar_exam_colonial_lanes.jpg

Photo by Jessica Bryce Young

Colonial Lanes has everything you want for a true old-school drinking experience 

Bar Exam

Colonial Lanes
400 Primrose Drive, 407-894-0361,

After work or after hours? Both

Beer/wine or liquor too? Both 

Check all that apply:
☐ fancy cocktails
☒ make 'em strong and keep 'em coming
☐ wine list (5 choices or more)
☒ craft beer
☒ beer: the usual suspects
☒ wide selection of bottles (more than 15)
☐ wide selection on tap (more than 15)

Food? Y ☒ N ☐

Smoking allowed inside? Y ☐ N ☒

Outside drinking? Y ☐ N ☒

Dog-friendly? Y ☐ N ☒  

Bag hooks? Y ☐ N ☒

Bathrooms: nightmare or not bad? Not bad … utilitarian

TVs? A few
What's on? Sports

DJs? Y ☐ N ☒

Loud music or background music?
TouchTunes, turned up pretty loud

Three songs/bands we heard here:
The Weeknd, Pink Floyd, Halloween music

Games? Check all that apply:
☐ pinball
☐ video
☒ pool
☒ darts
☒ other: bartop trivia machine, punching bag game, claw machine just outside the bar, plus 32 lanes of bowling

Essay question: Why should I drink here?  
The no-frills bar snugged away inside Colonial Lanes has everything you want for a true old-school drinking experience: cheap beer, cheap drinks, friendly-but-take-no-shit bartenders, a fine selection of beer mirrors, enough TVs to keep your eye on the game but not so many that you feel like you’re at Best Buy, karaoke, pool tables, darts, bartop gambling. Belly up to the sunken bar (so ’70s!) to the distant crashes of the lanes outside, order up the cheapest grilled cheese in town, and lean back in your padded vinyl rolly chair while your fellow drinkers fret about baby-sitters, compare Tinder profiles and rate Bieber’s peen. About those rolly chairs, though: Be careful getting up out of them after you’ve had a few.

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