OPENING THIS WEEK:
Captain Underpants: The First Epic Adventure "Change is coming" could be my favorite tagline of the last five years, although I also would have been perfectly happy with "Coming to kick A Wimpy Kid's ass." This adaptation of the eight-volume kids' book series is the culmination of 20 years' worth of negotiations between author Dav Pilkey and DreamWorks. Even though the latter ultimately decided to farm out the animation to Canada to save money – resulting in the departure of original director Rob Letterman – a screenplay by Nicholas Stoller portends the same fun-for-the-whole-family vibe as his Muppet reboots. Here's hoping this Fruit of the Loom is the cream of the crop. (PG)
The Wedding Plan Dumped by her fiancé just one month before their nuptials, a 32-year-old woman decides to go through with the ceremony anyway – just with a different groom she's sure she can meet and land by the fateful day. Sounds terribly retrogressive, right? An unfortunate reinforcement of the "needy single woman" stereotype? A patriarchal fantasy that helps no one? Not so fast, there: The movie is set in Israel. And as we all know, anything that's done over there automatically becomes quaint, charming and defensible when viewed through our own lens. I mean, just look at the settlements! (PG)
Wonder Woman Regular readers know all too well how I feel about the DC Cinematic Universe. But you know what? I might just hate ISIS even more. So damn you, Manchester bomber, for causing Warner Bros. to cancel the London premiere of Wonder Woman, since you've made it quite clear that any pop-cultural product that advertises the empowerment of females is now a public-safety hazard. I'd love it if the movie's worldwide box office were massive enough to be interpreted as a sweeping rebuke of that medievalist mindset – especially if the finished product is actually good, which I'm really not going to assume until I've seen every last frame myself. Like I said, that first-place win for ISIS on my shit list was a squeaker. (PG-13)
Also playing:
96 Souls Indie sci-fi about a scientific researcher who gains the ability to read minds after a freak accident. Variety warns us to prep ourselves for "an interminable discussion about the metaphysical properties of an onion." Gotta love a movie with layers. (NR)
Buena Vista Social Club: Adios Eighteen years after their first documentary made them a household name, everybody's favorite aged musical Commies are back to embark upon a farewell tour. Director Wim Wenders isn't among the returned, however, having been replaced by Lucy Walker, whose past documentary topics have included the likelihood of nuclear war. So yeah, she knows a thing or two about saying adios. (PG)
Chuck Liev Schreiber plays heavyweight boxer Chuck Lepner, who challenged Muhammad Ali for the title in 1975. Depending on who you talk to, that fight may have given Sylvester Stallone the idea for Rocky. (Hint: Don't talk to Sylvester Stallone!) (R)
Drone Can a drone pilot conduct clandestine missions from the suburbs without calling attention to himself? Apparently not, as Sean Bean learns when he's confronted by a Pakistani man with a grudge. Hey Sean: Tell him you work for Amazon! (NR)
