Premieres Wednesday, Feb. 2: Dark Desire — In the second and final season of the Mexican thriller series, law professor Alma Solares (Maite Perroni) faces the fallout of an extramarital affair that has threatened more than her relationship with her husband, an important but secretive judge. Whatever's going on between Clarence and Ginni Thomas right now must be absolute almond milk in comparison. (Netflix)
Pam & Tommy — Pamela Anderson wasn't mentioned at all in Netflix's 2019 Mötley Crüe biopic The Dirt. And that's a darn shame, because Machine Gun Kelly's performance as Tommy Lee was one of the best things about that flick. Now we're finally getting a dramatized portrayal of the iconic couple's public embarrassment of a relationship, drawn out to miniseries length and with Lily James as the pneumatic Pam. In the role of Tommy this time is Sebastian Stan, none other than the Winter Soldier himself. "You have a metal arm? Dude, that is so awesome!" "That's not my arm, dude." (Hulu)
The Tinder Swindler — Documentary cameras go in pursuit of conman Simon Leviev, who bilked unsuspecting women for millions of dollars through one of our more popular dating apps. I give it eight months until that concept is the foundation for a new game show, Catfishing for Crypto. (Netflix)
Premieres Thursday, Feb. 3: Murderville — National treasure Will Arnett stars in a comedy mystery series that teams him with a different celebrity every episode to crack a homicide case. The hook is that none of his partners are given a copy of the script, and have to improvise their way from sleuthing to solution. Not sold yet? The guest detectives include Sharon Stone, Marshawn Lynch and Ken Jeong. Listen, the odds of this thing not being a hoot are so long even the Seminole Tribe wouldn't take them right now. (Netflix)
Raised by Wolves — In Season 2 of Ridley Scott's sci-fi think piece, androids Mother and Father try to find out if raising their human children in a community of atheists will ensure the survival of the race. Either way we don't have a prayer, amirite? (HBO Max)
Slapface — Filmmaker Mike Manning adapts his 2017 short into a full-length feature about a young fellow who recovers from the death of his parents by making friends with a homicidal, forest-dwelling creature called the Virago Witch. Silly boy! You're supposed to grieve your parents by dressing up in a cheap-ass Bat costume and beating up on Paul Dano, not by doing something stupid. (Shudder)
Premieres Friday, Feb. 4: Book of Love — Romance may be in the cards for an English author and the Spanish translator who made his latest novel a bestseller in Mexico by turning it into soft porn. Makes you wonder if E.L. James ever met the guy who translated her Fifty Shades manuscripts from English to whatever the hell language they were published in. (Amazon Prime)
Reacher — This crime series based on the popular Jack Reacher novels begins with an adaptation of 1997's Killing Floor, in which our ex-M.P. hero is framed for murder. Just a heads-up: The books have been coming out at a pace of one a year since then, so it looks like you're going to be all set up for binge-watching even if the 'rona never ends. (Amazon Prime)
Phat Tuesdays — In a three-episode docuseries, learn how the turmoil of the Rodney King riots led to L.A.'s Comedy Store nightclub becoming a weekly platform for Black stand-up talent. I mean, it was also a platform for Encino Man, but nobody wants to talk about that. (Amazon Prime)
Suspicion — Are five British tourists really guilty of kidnapping businesswoman Uma Thurman's son from a New York hotel, or is it all just a case of mistaken identity? We have eight episodes to find out. But based on my own experience, I'm hoping they at least get nailed for the crime of pestering you for directions to Times Square when you're just trying to grab a goddamn frank. (Apple TV+)
Sweet Magnolias — The sophomore season of the South Carolina-based drama picks up right where Season 1 left off, revealing who was in the passenger seat of the car that crashed on prom night. If you think I'm going to let a little detail like "wrong state" prevent me from landing another Joel Greenberg joke, you must be new here. (Netflix)
Premieres Tuesday, Feb. 8: Love Is Blind Japan — The American dating show that made its name by bringing couples together sight unseen takes it act to the Land of the Rising Sun. Which confuses me a bit, because The Guardian called the stateside iteration "the final blow to the final nail in the coffin of civilization." What's left for a Far East edition to accomplish — dropping a dookie on the grave? And if so, wasn't that supposed to be Greta Van Fleet's job? (Netflix)
Ms. Pat: Y'all Wanna Hear Something Crazy? — Ms. Pat's reminiscences of her days as a very bad drug dealer exist at that nexus point of the hilarious and the horrifying that only the best comics can find. ("When you in a shootout and your safety's on, you ain't in a shootout no more. You bein' SHOT AT.") So I'm utterly delighted by the news that her first full-length Netflix special will delve into the half a year she spent in juvie, among other delightfully unsavory topics. Admit it, Ms. Pat: You were the one who caused that car crash on Sweet Magnolias, weren't you? (Netflix)
