Opening in Orlando: Creed, The Good Dinosaur, and Victor Frankenstein


Creed Did you know that Scott Stapp's Facebook profile pic is a Sticky Fingers-esque portrait of his own crotch? I point this out for two reasons: One, because it's always a good time to take a shot at the Stappster; and Two, because I thought it would be fun to scare you into thinking that Creed is a biopic of the worst grunge act that wasn't Candlebox. Actually, the movie is the latest sequel to Rocky, which is somehow markedly less frightening. This time, Mr. Balboa makes like Burgess Meredith, training the son of his former sparring partner, Apollo Creed. If you've noticed, the Rocky pictures that are more artistically credible are the ones that are seen by fewer people. Since this one was written and directed by the guy who made Fruitvale Station, expect it to close in two weeks. (PG-13)

The Good Dinosaur You gotta love how Disney always finds new ways to appease the fundamentalists. I still haven't gotten over The Haunted Mansion revealing that the 999 happy haunts were just pining to blow that popsicle stand and make their way to heaven. Now we have Pixar's The Good Dinosaur, which explores the supportive relationship between a human and his favorite Apatosaur. (Fun fact: "The Apatosaur" is what Seth Rogen calls Judd Apatow.) Wait a minute: Humans and dinos coexisting on the same planet? At the same time? Yep, in this universe, that infamous meteorite never hit, allowing the larger reptiles to go right on livin'. But if you know your fundies, you know that the image of a man riding a T-rex is Page 3 of the homeschooling handbook. Expect further theological/historical insights in the sequel, All Dinos Go to Heaven. (PG)

Victor Frankenstein There's only a year until Universal launches its shared universe populated by new versions of its classic monsters. (My personal prediction is a success rate somewhere between Van Helsing and the Groovie Ghoulies.) Until then, rivals like 20th Century Fox get to muddy the waters with pictures like Victor Frankenstein, which casts James McAvoy as the good doctor and Daniel Radcliffe as Igor. The film is said to focus less on the monster's creation and more on the relationship between the mad scientist and his assistant. Makes sense: Every time I go to Universal's Monsters Café, the walls are festooned with glossies of Dwight Frye looking meaningfully into Colin Clive's eyes. (PG-13)