"I know I'm going to lose money, but this will be the biggest party this town has ever seen."
;;So says Rich Evans via e-mail about his Memorial Day bacchanal: The Floridas Dying organizer has strung together five shows in four locations over three days involving 23 punk bands. With many of the bands traveling from out of town at Evans' expense, and with ticket prices ranging from free to a paltry 10 bucks, it's a sure thing that the promoter's prediction of insolvency will come true. But if the corporate-sponsored flash of FMF didn't float your boat, maybe this weekend of garage-rock mayhem will do the trick. Afternoon shows at the Colonial Lanes Lounge and Crooked Bayou help to ease the transition from hangover to fresh drunkenness. A rented "party bus" transports revelers from the bowling alley through the notoriously cop-heavy environs of Maitland for Saturday night's show at the Copper Rocket Pub. Don't worry, you can sleep it off Monday.
;;;Friday, May 25
;;Haunted George, Live Fast Die, The Creteens, Fashion Fashion and the Image Boys, Jacuzzi Boys French raunch-rockers the Creteens, the Stooge-erific Luddite punk
;of New York's Live Fast Die (see: "Fat Guy [With an iPod]" and "Pissing on the Mainframe") and the one-man-band insanity of Haunted George are the out-of-state highlights on the bill, but locals Fashion Fashion and Miami's Jacuzzi Boys are not to be missed. (8 p.m. at Back Booth; $10)
;Saturday, May 26
;;Frantic, Runn-a-Mucks, Johnny and the Limelites, Rad Kids While it's great that Johnny and the Limelites are traveling down from Chicago to play this show, what's even more cool is that this is the live debut of the Rad Kids, the new, pop-oriented project from Derek Lyn Plastic. (3 p.m. at Colonial Lanes Lounge; free)
;;;Dan Melchior und das Menace, Wizzard Sleeve, Carbonas, Hibachi Stranglers, Thomas Function Mobile, Ala.'s Hibachi Stranglers are everything that Little Steven wants in his favorite garage bands … except these guys are weirder, louder and more ferocious. They pick up cultural detritus from the '50s, '60s and '70s and twist it into a hell-bent, wild-ass hardcore mess. It's bluesy British trad-rocker Dan Melchior (a onetime collaborator with Billy Childish and ex- of the Broke Revue) who's the highlight … not just of the night, but of the whole festival. And that's saying something. (8 p.m. at Copper Rocket Pub; $8)
;;;Sunday, May 27
;;Dead Hookers, Pink Reason, F Pipes, Hollywood Two words: Dead Hookers. (3 p.m. at Crooked Bayou; free)
;;;Fe Fi Fo Fums, Wax Museums, Gentleman Jesse, Electric Bunnies, Jeanie and the Tits Evans describes the Wax Museums as "total retard music from Denton, Texas." I dunno, dude. I listened to "I Eat Vomit" and thought they were genius. Equally retarded … I mean genius: the Fe Fi Fo Fums, whose "Fuck New Wave" is pretty much the Floridas Dying scene's anthem. (8 p.m. at Back Booth; $10)
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