Police Beat

March 11, 12:24 p.m.: Last week, we reported on some baby-bag-filching-food-stamp-snatching-purse-pilfering sorts of soulless SOBs who robbed a mother and her kids. Well, they've returned for a repeat performance. Officer Harris reports: "`T`he `37-year-old` victim was standing with her two-year-old child, who was in a stroller, in the 5400 block of Timberleaf waiting for Lynx Bus No. 21. The victim was approached by two unknown black male suspects. Suspect No. 1, dressed in a gray tank top and blue jeans, demanded the victim's baby bag and purse. Suspect No. 2, dressed in a white T-shirt and blue jean shorts, sat on the bench as Suspect No. 1 talked to the victim. Suspect No. 1 grabbed the victim by the arm and demanded the victim's cellular phone. The victim became afraid for her life and `complied` with the suspect's demands." The perps made off with $400 in personal effects: approximately $200 for the baby bag and purse; $200 for the cell phone.

A different spin from last week's incident: There were three witnesses this time. "As the event was taking place `three witnesses` were walking past the bus stop and observed the incident." That's right, they "observed the incident" rather than taking an active role in helping a mother and her child in distress. Way to go!

March 12, 2:32 p.m.: On the 100 block of Northeast Lucerne Circle, Officer Rodriguez investigated a "commercial burglary." Her report reflects, "`The 45-year-old complainant` stated that the `establishment` was locked and secured on 3-11-06, at approximately 1300 hours. On today's date at approximately 1432 hours, an unknown suspect gained entry to the business through the front door. Using an unknown object, the suspect smashed out the large window in the front door. Once inside, the suspect removed approximately five dollars in change from the refrigerator located in the kitchen on the first floor." No cold cash for our perp, but he was able to grip some chilly change after causing $450 in damage to the door.

The report continues, "It should be noted that the suspect appeared to have cut himself during the process of smashing the window. CST Reed responded to the scene to collect a sample of blood, latent prints and other pertinent evidence." Oops. Hopefully our perp got enough change to acquire some peroxide, bandages and a ticket out of the state, because a little blood goes a long way in criminal investigations.

March 13, 9:56 a.m.: This case could push a perverse imagination to the brink. Officer Sims responded to a commercial burglary on the 1900 block of Traylor Boulevard and met with our 25-year-old complainant who, according to Officer Sims' report, stated the following: "Between 1700 hours on 3-12-2006 and 0500 hours on 3-13-2006, unknown suspect(s) burglarized/vandalized the listed business. Point of entry was unknown as the buildings and work yard are fenced with a chain-link fence with barbed wire on top. Once inside the work yard, suspect(s) removed three bottles of Turtle Wax from the north side of the work shed. These bottles of wax were emptied on three different vans belonging to the business and parked against the west fence. No entry was gained nor attempted to the shed or the vans." Did the perp(s) have some sick plot of slathering themselves up with $30 worth of wax and then accidentally get it on the vehicles? We suspect it was even more devious than that.

From the report: "Suspect(s) then proceeded to take an empty plastic garbage can … and placed it on top of a van belonging to the business. The van with the garbage can on top was parked facing north in the parking lot upon my arrival."

Perhaps this was some strange ritual, because other than the peculiar placement and squirting of things, "nothing was removed." But there was a cost to the business: "Cleanup from wax on vans" was valued at $1. Hell, your correspondent would pay $10 just to see how it all went down.

March 13, 10:16 a.m.: Home alone on the 600 block of West Princeton Street, our 9-year-old victim was startled by someone trying to get in her home. Officer Yuhas responded to the "occupied residential burglary" and took a statement from the juvenile victim and her 44-year-old mother. The report stated that "on 03/13/06 between 0900 hours and 0912 hours, a white male suspect entered the front screened-in porch of the residence and removed a bicycle. The porch was unlocked and the suspect entered the porch by using the east door. The suspect then went around to the rear of the house where `the juvenile` was home alone inside and attempted to enter the locked back door." Luckily for our youngster, the rear door was locked.

"The suspect jiggled the door handle alerting `the juvenile`. When she looked out her bedroom window, which is next to the door, she saw the male. The suspect then made a 'mean face' at the juvenile and left the area traveling east on the bicycle." The girl stood helpless, peering out the window as the meanie took off with her $150 bike, but he wasn't all bad: "The suspect left behind a box of day-old sandwiches, which he had been carrying."

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