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  • Goodbye, cruel world

      Sooner or later, this happens to the best of them: Ziggy Stardust, Carrie Bradshaw, Andrew Ridgeley....
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  • A quickie with Savage

      I want Dan Savage's Seattle-sexologist arms wrapped all around me in some columnist's heaven of dead...
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  • Wrapped in false bliss

      In the immortal words of perennial pop soothsayer Peter Wolf, he of the J. Geils Band, well, "Love S...
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  • Blue colors

      This is how it always happens. In that wicked space between free radical dream association (typicall...
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  • On the upside

      The new great depression is nigh. Hovering somewhat daftly between the claustrophobic rant of The Na...
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  • Wright's wrongisms

      I'm hearing voices in my head again. Not the usual angelic whispers of "Yes, you should have another...
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  • Willa won't

      Slapping the carelessly sewn layers of blond extensions from my eyes, I realize that my entire life ...
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  • Crack in the case

      Want me? Don't you want me? Apparently not. So here it is that I find myself on a New Year's Eve aft...
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  • Saved by TV

      Slung on the couch, watching the mistletoe wither, a thought occurs to me: Life isn't what it used t...
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  • Make the Yuletide gay

      Oh, no. It's that time of the year again, where I unfairly dust off my mirrored table and try not t...
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  • Macho, macho man

      "Be a man." Words to live by, maybe, but also words to cough up into the ether of self-reflection, i...
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  • Pass the tomatoes

      Don't panic, but I am making spaghetti sauce. Not to eat, silly, just to rub across my lips in some ...
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  • One of the girls

      On my computer is the black-and-white world of a drunk Paris Hilton in full exhibitionist mode, Quic...
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  • The Beaver is itchy

      My beaver itches. Well, if I had a beaver, I'm sure it would. Jerry Mathers, the original Beaver, as...
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  • What a weasel

      Sometimes life is hard. An unexpected toothache or the proverbial thorn in the side is just about en...
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  • Calling all dead people

      I see dead people. Or at least people I wish were dead. Bawdy, blond-banged corpse-whisperer Sylvia ...
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  • Such cute girls

      Ever had the hiccups? Not your standard misgasp of alcoholic air followed by embarrassing respirator...
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  • Trade spaces with me

      I've never really lifted a hammer. Nor have I screwed a screw (minus the driver), sawed a board or g...
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