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Wm.™ Steven Humphrey

129 results
    • I LOVE TELEVISION

        Ever had a moment, after hearing news so utterly astounding, so unbelievably wonderful that you can only sit quietly and tremble with your hand over your mouth?..
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    • I LOVE TELEVISION

        Are you happy the writersâ?? strike is finally over? Well, I most certainly am â?¦ NOT!! What people fail to realize is that â??desperationâ? makes for the best television...
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    • I LOVE TELEVISION

        There are only three programs you need to be concerned about this week: the return of Lost, the Super Bowl and “Super Tuesday.” Actually … scratch those last two ...
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    • I LOVE TELEVISION

        Let’s establish one thing here and now: The new American Gladiators show is the greatest thing that has ever happened to humankind ...
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    • I LOVE TELEVISION

        As you may have heard, American Idol returns to TV this week (Fox, 8 p.m. Tuesday, Jan. 15), which means I’m going to buy a shotgun to blow my head off (Wal-Mart, Monday, Jan. 14, on sale $24.99) ...
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    • I HEART TELEVISION

        I really hate those a-hole annual year-end lists … wait. No, I LOVE THEM...
    • I LOVE TELEVISION

        Here’s the problem with Christmas TV specials: THERE ARE NO NEW ONES ...
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    • I LOVE TELEVISION

        Happy Thanksgiving, mother-freakers! OR IS IT? If you’re anything like me, expressing an emotion even faintly resembling “thankfulness” has become a near impossibility...
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    • I LOVE TELEVISION

        Another thing I’m really good at? Pointing out other people’s problems. You know how psychiatrists work, right? I’m kind of the opposite. Instead of identifying and helping solve the problems, I just point them out ...
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    • I LOVE TELEVISION

        Though it may come as a surprise to some, I often find myself “in trouble.” However, it should be noted that any “trouble” I stumble into is rarely, if ever, my fault ...
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    • I LOVE TELEVISION

        ’m a busy guy … OK?! And that’s why it’s imperative that I follow a very strict daily calendar in order to fulfill myriad EXTREMELY IMPORTANT duties...
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    • I LOVE TELEVISION

        First, I’d like to apologize for last week’s column in which I annoyingly implored you at least 37 times to watch Bionic Woman ...
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    • I LOVE TELEVISION

        If you’re wondering why I’m walking around like I’ve got a solid-gold vibrating iPhone in my bottom – it’s because THE NEW FALL SHOWS ARE HERE!
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    • I LOVE TELEVISION

        OK, listen up! This week marks the debut of Survivor: All Stars, wherein past Survivor contestants reunite on a secluded island and screw each other out of a million bucks ...
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    • I LOVE TELEVISION

        You know, some people have the gall to accuse ME of not knowing how a television show actually works. Well, as it turns out, I do know how a television show "works."
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    • I LOVE TELEVISION

        First things first: My car will blow the freaking DOORS off your car. It's packing a 430 four-barrel, and it's so monstrously fast I have to repaint it every week — because the paint burns off, Count Bee-yotchula!
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    • I LOVE TELEVISION

        Call me "old-timey," but it seems like you can't swing a diabetic cat these days without hitting some movie where a bunch of teenagers are being physically tortured ...
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