Proof of life: a real-world version

An October New York Times dispatch from India highlighted the growing problem of intra-family frauds in which one member will claim a living relative's land or wealth by swearing to the government that the relative is dead. An advocacy group, the Association of Dead People, helps aggrieved citizens figure out just how to prove that they are indeed alive, which can be a difficult concept for India's bargelike bureaucracies to accept. The association's founder said he remained officially dead even after he ran for office, filed lawsuits and got arrested just to get his name on public records.

Children not seen, not heard

In November, U.S. marshals in Detroit confiscated the belongings of Marie Antoinette Jackson-Randolph, a former high-society day-care chain owner, who is now in prison for scamming the government out of $13.5 million in meal money for underprivileged children she allegedly fed at her centers. Among her "estate": 100 pieces of Baccarat, Waterford and Lalique crystal, 911 purses, 606 pairs of shoes, 165 pairs of boots, a roomful (floor to ceiling) of costume jewelry, and various fur and skin garments (leopard, coyote, mink, fox, sable, chinchilla, snake, lynx, rabbit, lamb, beaver, weasel and raccoon, in a variety of colors).

Scientific formulas

From Susan Smith, a professor of health and safety sciences, at the University of Tennessee: People who use sign language have up to five times greater risk of hand and wrist injuries than people who don't use sign language. From zoologists at the University of Kerala, in India, writing in Current Science: After eight impotent gerbils had alcohol injected into their eyes to blind them, five of them began to copulate (possibly due to the release of melatonin).

Getting the message across

California environmental activist Dona Nieto ("La Tigresa") appeared topless at several logging sites in Humboldt and Mendocino counties in October in a demonstration ("Striptease for the Trees," featuring "nudist guerrilla poetry") to save giant redwood trees; loggers' reactions ranged from embarrassment to a defensive recital of Bible verses. Also in October, when three neighborhood planning officials in the village of Barlestone, England, arrived at the house of Brian Statham to supervise the council-ordered clearing of his yard, Statham jumped in his forklift and systematically picked up the three men's cars and set them down on their sides.

But who picked up the check?

In October, an appeals court in San Francisco became the first to test whether a relationship amounted to "dating" under California's new domestic-violence legislation that permits victims to collect judgments even if they aren't a cohabiting couple. The rejector, Joyce Oriola (who said she was stalked by Adam Thaler after she refused to go out with him), had to claim the couple were actually dating in order to qualify her for monetary damages. Thaler, the rejectee, logically had to claim that the two were just friends. The court ruled they were not dating.

Down the toilet

After 100 employees took ill (dizziness and nausea) at the National Pen Corp. offices in Rancho Bernardo, Calif., in September (with 24 being sent to the hospital), white-suited hazardous-materials crews went over the building from top to bottom, looking for gas and chemical leaks, among other possibilities. The official cause, determined the next day by the San Diego Fire Department, was an excess of urinal cakes in a third-floor men's room.

The spirit is willing

In October, the prosecutor in a rape case in Lewis County, Wash., said he was thinking of subpoenaing Ramtha, a 35,000-year-old warrior spirit (via his Earthly channeler, spiritualist J.Z. Knight), who reportedly "heard" the defendants confess to the crime during a session at Knight's retreat in Yelm, Wash. However, Knight then told reporters that she had been "in a trance" during the session and therefore could not recall what the defendants and Ramtha had talked about.

It's just one thing after another

In July in Ponta, Texas, Charles and Jennifer Smith and their three preschoolers purchased a new Dodge Intrepid, which was totaled in a collision the next day; on Aug. 11, fire destroyed their trailer home; then Jennifer drove over the family dog, putting his leg in a cast. In September, after the community banded together to get the Smiths a new trailer home, a storm totaled that one.

Forgive and regret

News of the Weird has reported several times on husbands or wives who were victims of murder attempts by their spouses, yet who quickly forgave and asked the judge to forget the whole thing. In October in Denver, Tom Mason, 52, was sentenced to 12 years in prison for hiring a hit man in 1998 (really an undercover cop) to stage a fatal truck-crash murder of his wife (he had bought her a Hyundai Excel to reduce her chance of survival); the wife, who divorced Mason after that, remarried him in April 2000 and begged the judge not to send him to prison.

Attention grabber

Five police drug-squad members in New Orleans were reassigned pending allegations that they had searched a suspect's rectum, said a police spokeswoman, "manually and possibly with a pair of pliers."

Scroll to read more Orlando Area News articles
Join the Orlando Weekly Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state.
Help us keep this coverage going with a one-time donation or an ongoing membership pledge.


Join Orlando Weekly Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.