Police Beat

April 10

(2009-167909) 8:52 a.m.: "An unknown suspect burglarized the Orlando Housing Authority administration office. … The suspect gained entry through a window and took a set of keys." Not to generalize or anything, but honestly, if you plan to steal from an OHA home, what kind of loot are you expecting?

(2009-168638) 6:35 p.m.: Cops busted some kids trying to steal from the First Baptist Church of Orlando. They went to juvie, and will someday be going to hell.

(2009-168658) 6:45 p.m.: Two teenage males were accosted by a pack of "seven to 10" other teenage males, who then committed a strong-arm robbery — a robbery via the use or threatened use of physical violence, but without weapons — and fled on foot. The cops busted three of the wee criminals, ages 13 through 15, on charges of robbery and false imprisonment. Jail.

(2009-168677) 6:57 p.m.: Oh wonderful. Lawson Lamar's office wants the death penalty for Casey Anthony. Because this mess couldn't become any more of a circus. On the bright side, at least Nancy Grace will have something to work herself into a lather over. Yeah, wonderful.


Also, on the subject of (allegedly) crazy people: "On the above listed date and time, the arrestee forced her way into the apartment and battered the victim."

April 11

(2009-169117) 12:08 a.m.: From the "That's nice police work, boys" file: "Victim was going to his car where he was approached by two black males. One black male proceeded to hit the victim while holding a weapon. The second black male reached into the victim's pocket, removed his car keys and proceeded to the victim's vehicle. The black male, along with a second black male, left in the vehicle, going in an unknown direction. The vehicle was spotted by several officers but no one was able to successfully stop the vehicle."

(2009-169257) 1:38 a.m.: A homeless guy smashed a window and broke into a church. The church's alarm went off, and the cops came and arrested him.

(2009-169468) 4:52 a.m.: So this had to be frightening for a 26-year-old victim, home alone inside her Lake Underhill Road apartment: "An unknown person(s) attempted to gain entry into the victim's apartment, damaging three windows of the apartment. On the third window, the unknown person(s) smashed it with a rock and once inside, the unknown person(s) attempted to gain entry into the victim's room, which was locked. Due to the fact that the alarm went off and the victim woke up, the unknown person(s) then unlocked the front door and left in an unknown direction of travel, without causing any harm to the victim."

Moral of the story: Alarms are your friends.

(2009-170015) 3:09 p.m.: A cop makes contact with a "suspicious person" on North Ivey Lane. Said suspicious person makes a break for it, and during the course of the getaway tosses aside a clear plastic baggie with "some green leafy substance" in it, Officer Wright tells us.

The cops tracked down the fleeing suspect, and were shocked to discover that his tossed-aside bag had just south of 20 grams of pot in it. And hey, what do you know? Jail.

(2009-170156) 5:20 p.m.: Officer Pomales can spin a yarn, I tell you what: "The arrestee armed with a black knife broken into the victim's residence. As the arrestee was walking out of the residence, he was confronted by the second victim. A struggle ensued and the arrestee managed to escape, running eastbound on Andora Street without causing any injuries to the second victim. An area check was performed and the arrestee was located arrested."

April 12

(2009-170977) 2:46 a.m.: "The victim was shot in the left forearm by an unknown suspect."

(2009-171009) 3:16 a.m.: "The victim came home and proceeded to open her front door. She heard a noise behind her. When she turned around, she noticed the suspect coming at her. She began screaming and swinging her arms. As she fell in her door way, the suspect ran off."

(2009-17114) 6:05 a.m.: "On the above date and time, two to three unknown black males in their early 20's, forced their way inside room 224 located at `a West Colonial Drive apartment complex`. Once inside the apartment, a struggle took place, at which time, the tenant/victim was pushed through the window. Unsure if any property was taken. Suspects fled in an unknown direction. It should be noted, one of the suspects brandished a handgun."

(2009-171690) 5:31 a.m.: So how's this for clarity? "On the above date and time, there was a large crowd at the Washington Shores Plaza, with several arrests made and shots were fired with no victims and no suspect information."

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