Police Beat

May 30


(2010-253298) 8:22 a.m.: A guy ran out of Wal-Mart on South Goldenrod Road with two flat-screen TVs in his arms and actually got away. Go steroids.

(2010-253808) 4:40 p.m.: In an apartment in the 5100 block of Park Central Drive, a man whacked his girlfriend with a vacuum cleaner.


June 1


(2010-256732) 11:30 a.m.: Someone broke into a toolshed at Pineview Hills Apartments on North Pine Hills Road and stole a dozen air conditioners, worth a ;cool $6,000.

(2010-256848) 12:30 p.m.: Copper coils scuttled away from three air conditioners at Joe's Crab Shack on South Semoran Boulevard.

(2010-257535) 4:14 p.m.: "What the fuck are you looking at?" asked the gun-waving man at Venetian Place Apartments on Commander Drive. The threatened employee called the cops, and Mister Grumpy fired about 30 shots through his apartment wall and door before coming out with his hands up.

(OCSO) 9:24 p.m.: Deputies stopped a rape in progress at Seville Place Apartments on North Pine Hills Road and got the perv's name, address and shoes from his car; despite being heavily redacted, a first version of the report failed to hide the 15-year-old victim's name. Don't worry, ;we won't tell.


June 2


(OCSO) 4:23 a.m.: People in a black vehicle shot at a deputy near Chateau Road and Le Havre Boulevard. He shot back, and they fled. When police tracked the vehicle to a driveway, they found one of the five people inside – a 15-year-old – sporting a bullet wound. Deputies found two guns and some body armor, and suspect the crew in the previous night's armed robbery spree.

(2010-258270) 6 a.m.: Just to make you feel safer, an unlocked pickup in the 5100 block of Jeannine Court let two more pistols out to roam the streets.

(OPD-Case number not released) 11:40 a.m.: Three guys tried to mug a taxi driver at Royal Summit Apartments on South Rio Grande Avenue, but he got the gun away from them and shot back. Police couldn't chase them down, but during the pursuit they found a pot patch growing in a backyard in the 2800 block of Rio Lane.

(2010-258646) 12:25 p.m.: Once upon a time in the 5200 block of North Orange Blossom Trail, somebody found a woman's bed juuust right, so he slept in it while she was gone. And ate her food. Wonder if it was porridge.

(OCSO) 12:49 p.m.: A man was tied up and robbed at home in the 10 block of Interlaken Road by someone roughly resembling Rob Zombie.


June 3


(2010-260697) 1 p.m.: Someone in the market for copper ruined five air conditioners on the roof of The Market at Southside on South Orange Avenue.

(2010-261678) 11 p.m.: Strong contender for Scumbag of the Month: While a man was recharging his electric wheelchair in the 600 block of West Church Street, someone took the opportunity to snatch his wallet.


June 4


(Kissimmee PD): A man was sent to jail for padlocking his mentally ill son in a bedroom for hours at a time. See how ;you like it.

(2010-262780) 2:54 p.m.: A finicky burglar hit the 500 block of Boston Avenue, taking a shotgun, two shotgun shells, a pair of sneakers and exactly 15 cigarettes.

(2010-262980) 5:30 p.m.: Meanwhile in the 4500 block of Commander Drive, a .40 caliber pistol came out of the closet.

(2010-263027) 6:14 p.m.: Four women beat up another at Metro Place Apartments on South Kirkman Road, hitting her with fists and an aluminum baseball bat. Wonder if the one arrestee's ;name is Mudd.


June 5


(2010-263864) 2:32 a.m.: In Hollowbrook Apartments on Curry Ford Road, two masked men took an iPhone at gunpoint and squeezed off some shots as they drove away.

(2010-263928) 3:15 a.m.: Cops ran down two guys after a burglary at Windsor Cove Apartments on Mercy Drive. One, caught by the appropriately named Officer Alex Chase, apparently wasn't a burglar, but they found stuff to charge him ;with anyway.

(2010-263961) 4:04 a.m.: One man walking home from work at South Orange Avenue and the East-West Expressway was jumped by three guys, but he fought them all off and kept his wallet. The three are still at large but probably embarrassed.

(2010-264371) 11 a.m.: Someone broke a window at Gargi's Restorante Italiano on North Orange Avenue and took $1,500 and six cases of booze. At least that should hold them for a while.

(2010-265148) 10:18 p.m.: A vehicle stopped at a Citgo station on Municipal Drive revealed two bottles of crack in the overhead light, a stolen .45 pistol in the headliner and a driver already ;on probation.

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