OW goes to the RNC: Blackjack, Koch-heads and afternoon naps


That image you’re looking at, the one of Dan Rather’s smiling face circa 1996, was on the back of the receipt a cab driver gave me last night. Welcome to Tampa, ladies and gentlemen.

So tonight’s the night. The Repubs have officially nominated Willard Mitt Romney for president, Paul Ryan for vice president (who does this for fun), and adopted a platform that (despite it being the dumbest idea in the history of modern economics) has a hard-on for the gold standard and gives a middle finger to the gays (also, no abortions for you, rape victim!). Says Virginia Gov. (and platform committee chair) Bob McDonnell, best known for trying to force protruding wands into lady parts, in his prepared remarks: “This platform is an invitation. It invites every American to consider what kind of country we want to be.”

On this, we agree.

About our afternoon: nothing consequential happened. We went to the Hard Rock Casino—where we heard the Koch brothers were staying, though we didn’t see them, not that we really looked—wherein I promptly gambled away the money we had budgeted for Mons Venus. Billy was terribly disappointed. But really, who hasn’t made out with a Tampa stripper already?

Maybe tonight’s Wonkette party will be more





Scroll to read more Orlando Area News articles
Join the Orlando Weekly Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state.
Help us keep this coverage going with a one-time donation or an ongoing membership pledge.


Join Orlando Weekly Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.