How to alienate your mother on Facebook

The How-To Issue

So, let’s say your mom has just cottoned onto the social-networking bandwagon, mostly as a means of seeing pictures of the grandkids that your other siblings have supplied her with (and, occasionally, posting pictures of wobbly sunsets). Then, let’s add to that the fact that you, as the family’s black sheep, have become a drunken over-sharing sensation (in your own mind) on Facebook, posting up to 10 selfies or realizations a day, each usually involving alcohol and/or self-aggrandizing philosophy.

“Just hide me,” you tell your mom on one of your holiday home visits.

“It’s just sad. You’re always holding a drink. I worry about you,” she talks over you, not quite sure what this mysterious “hide” function is.

You agree to break up on Facebook, while still loving each other. Phones, you remind her, are the best place for catching up. Alienation accomplished.

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