Heaven isn't too far away

Because there is nothing else going on, or because there are no toy stores selling dildos, or because it's sweeps and you're all suckers, Local 6 is bravely exploring whether or not you will go to heaven when you die.

To paraphrase my last post: I'm not kidding. Local 6 is this retarded.

In the first of several Local 6 reports, Central Florida religious leaders from the Muslim and Catholic faiths offered perspectives on how a person can get into heaven.

My guess? If you do what they say, you make it to the big dance in the sky. If not, enjoy the big burn.

This is truly groundbreaking and remarkable journalism.

Scroll to read more Orlando Area News articles
Join the Orlando Weekly Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state.
Help us keep this coverage going with a one-time donation or an ongoing membership pledge.

Newsletters

Join Orlando Weekly Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.