There's a king cobra on the loose right now in Orlando. It's 8-foot-long, apparently it's green and yellow, and it escaped from its owner (who had a license to keep the giant venomous snake) somewhere in the vicinity of the 4800 block of North Apopka Vineland Road, near Steeplechase Boulevard and Hackney Prairie Road. We don't have many details on this snake, but the FWC is reportedly searching for it now.
If you see it, don't touch it. For the love of god. Instead, call the FWC's wildlife alert hotline at 888-404-3922 ... and seriously, don't panic. These things can only grow to be, like, 18 feet long. Worst case scenario.
Now all we need is somebody to set up an @OrlandoCobra Twitter account.
UPDATE: This isn't the first time an Orlando man has had a cobra escape from its owner. In 2001, local zoologist Mike Kennedy had a 13 and a half foot cobra named Elvis living at his home. It escaped and was later shot by a College Park homeowner who found the reptile in his garage. Just a little FYI — the name of the guy who owns the property where this most recent cobra escaped is also Mike Kennedy, according to News Channel 13. They tie him to the same Mike Kennedy who runs the website Kennedy International, which lists Dragon Ranch as one of Kennedy's activities. The site says he houses crocodiles, snakes, a cougar and a leopard and has photos of him handling some of the animals at his home. ALSO: There's a Mike Kennedy on Facebook, who has some of the Dragon Ranch website photos in his profile, and it turns out that's the same Mike Kennedy who stars in the Discovery Channel TV show Airplane Repo. That Mike Kennedy is a badass. But we hope he doesn't lose any more cobras.