‘The Offer,’ new on Paramount+ this week, is a gossipy ‘Godfather’ yarn you can’t refuse

Matthew Goode as Bob Evans in "The Offer"
Matthew Goode as Bob Evans in "The Offer" photo by Miller Mobley/Paramount+

Plus everything new debuting on Netflix, Amazon, Hulu, Disney+, HBO Max, Apple TV+ and the rest.

Premieres Wednesday: 365 Days: This Day — The second installment in Poland's answer to the Fifty Shades franchise offers more of the sexual violence and glamorized crime that moved Variety to castigate the original as "a thoroughly terrible, politically objectionable, occasionally hilarious Polish humpathon." Wait a minute, I thought Madison Cawthorn's family was English. (Netflix)

Bullshit: The Game Show — Howie Mandel is the host of this filmed version of the popular game in which having the right answer isn't necessarily as important as having the most persuasive answer. And if that attitude seems skeevy to you, just remember: The Orlando Museum of Art would be empty without it! (Netflix)

The Mystery of Marilyn Monroe: The Unheard Tapes — Sixty years after her untimely death, learn new details about the final days of the 20th century's most tragic star. And when I say "learn new details," I mean "hear wild new allegations not a single living soul could confirm or deny." But really, how much do you think you're going to have to offer when you're 60? (Netflix)

Silverton Siege — The real history of South Africa inspired this thriller about a trio of anti-apartheid fighters and the bank employees and customers they took hostage. The teller knew they were serious when they handed her a note reading "Act naturally; I have a dream and a gun." (Netflix)

Sketchbook — Professional artists and animators explain how they came to work for Disney, while teaching us how to draw some of the studio's most iconic characters. Helpful hint: If you're going to try Mei from Turning Red, lay in a big supply of paper towels! (Disney+)

click to enlarge PHOTO BY LOU FAULON/NETFLIX
Photo by Lou Faulon/Netflix

Premieres Thursday: The 7 Lives of Léa — A young woman travels three decades back in time to solve the murder of a young man who disappeared in the 1990s. Complicating her investigation, she wakes up every morning in the body of a different person. Had she traveled back to the 1980s, she'd be waking up every morning with the body of a different person. (Netflix)

Bubble — Not to be confused with The Bubble, the widely panned Judd Apatow flick that dropped just three weeks ago, this is an anime feature set in a futuristic Tokyo where the laws of gravity no longer apply — and where teenagers are brought together by sounds no one else can hear. Sounds like they could have avoided a lot of confusion if they had just named it Bong. (Netflix)

Made for Love — Hazel is once again under the thumb of her controlling ex as Season 2 begins — or is she? New additions to the cast this season include none other than Paula Abdul as a holographic assistant. Just for fun, I think this is how we should all start talking to our personal devices: "Paula, please play me that hit song you had after 1995. Siri, please get Paula a tissue." (HBO Max)

The Offer — Miles Teller, Matthew Goode and Giovanni Ribisi lead an A-list cast in a dramatization of the long and fraught battle to bring Mario Puzo's The Godfather to the screen. As you can imagine, it involved a lot of delicate negotiation with America's most powerful criminal enterprise. And once the studio was taken care of, dealing with the Mafia was almost as tough. (Paramount+)

Samurai Rabbit: The Usagi Chronicles — Stan Sakai's acclaimed comic Usagi Yojimbo becomes a CGI-animated series about a teenage bunny who's the direct descendant of a mighty warrior. Sakai said during [email protected] that he's been hands-on throughout the process, to ensure character integrity and a correct representation of Japanese culture. Now watch the Weebs rip it to shreds anyway. (Netflix)

Under the Banner of Heaven — In retrospect, Jon Krakauer's 2003 exposé Under the Banner of Heaven cast too wide a net in its condemnation of the abuses of Mormon fundamentalism. (All Mormons are taught that swindling nonbelievers in business deals is part of their calling? Really, Jon?) We'll see if this miniseries adaptation starring Andrew Garfield likewise goes too far, or if it confines its inquiry to the central story of a polygamist sect that's implicated in a double murder. Otherwise, what we have here might end up being the modern equivalent of Rising Sun. (And letting Michael Crichton get away with that is how we ended up getting stuck with the Twister ride!) (FX on Hulu)

The Way Down — A lot has happened to Christian diet guru Gwen Shamblin since production wrapped on this docuseries about her controversial church. For one thing, she died in a plane crash, which kinda put a new spin on the story. Arriving after a hiatus of seven months, these last two episodes have been reworked to include testimony from former parishioners who can now drop the dime on Shamblin without fear. Although I bet they'd still think twice if this thing were on Shudder. Because being dead don't stop nobody up in that bitch. (HBO Max)

Premieres Friday: Crush — This 21st-century teen romcom wants you to know that being a lesbian in high school is really difficult. For example, you could be an artist who thinks she's in love with someone on the track team, only to find out when you're forced to join that team that you really like somebody else. Oh, and the politicians in your state could be trying to erase every single bit of evidence that you exist. But love triangles, amirite? (Hulu)

Grace & Frankie: Season 7 — The Final Episodes — They've seen some stuff together, and the final 12 installments of the long-running sitcom find our heroines pondering what's left for their friendship to explore. In the advance clips that have been released, Lily Tomlin's Frankie jokingly suggests a suicide pact. Listen, if Jane Fonda didn't take herself out after Monster-in-Law, nothing's going to convince her now. (Netflix)

I Love America — The team of director Lisa Azuelos and star Sophie Marceau (LOL) reunites to tell the story of a Parisian woman who relocates to Los Angeles to jump-start her love life. And what tools does she rely upon to accomplish her goal? Dating apps and the advice of a drag queen. You'd get better results throwing darts at a list of deadbeat dads. (Amazon Prime)

The Last Drive-In With Joe Bob Briggs — Season 4 kicks off with a celebration of Joe Bob's 100th movie since taking his schtick to Shudder in 2018. I'm kind of pulling for 1981's Antichrist-goes-to-high-school cheapie Fear No Evil, but I haven't seen it in 40 years and I might be disappointed. Which is also why I don't go to high school reunions. (Shudder)

Ozark: Season 4 Part 2 — This final run of seven episodes concludes with an installment directed by Jason Bateman, which hasn't happened since Season 2. And Laura Linney also gets to direct an episode for the very first time. Hopefully that isn't some sort of tit-for-tat situation, because the last thing this show needs right now is a Star Trek V, if you catch my drift. (Netflix)

Rumspringa — Yes, it's another comedy about that grace period wherein Amish kids get to cut loose by making unto them a bunch of graven images and stuff. The focus this time is on a young lad whose faith and future are threatened when he chooses to spend his rumspringa among the myriad temptations of ... Berlin? You gotta love those Germans. David Bowie makes a couple albums there to get away from his wife, and overnight they think they're Las Vegas or something. (Netflix)

Shining Girls — Elisabeth Moss stars in a miniseries adaptation of Lauren Beukes' novel The Shining Girls, in which a newspaper archivist of the 1990s discovers that the man who attacked her is a time-traveling killer bent on eliminating women with potential. I'm longing for a crossover episode with The 7 Lives of Léa in which they all collide with one another at a Lilith Fair tour stop and have to spend 20 minutes of story time exchanging insurance information. (Apple TV+)

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