Opening Wednesday, Dec. 12:
Once Upon a Deadpool Remember when Kurt Cobain bowed to the pressure to release a censored version of In Utero that could be sold at Walmart? Remember his explanation? He said Walmart had been the place where he bought all his KISS albums growing up, and he didn't want to deny his fans a similar experience. Yes, there's nothing like a patina of cool cred to cover for a naked sellout. Just like Walmart, 20th Century Fox has been begging for a PG-13 cut of a Deadpool movie since the very beginning. And now Ryan Reynolds et al. have finally caved, re-releasing Deadpool 2 in a neutered version that benefits cancer charities and has new framing material that riffs on The Princess Bride. Well played, guys. Now we can put this entire messy business behind us. Because since you've indulged the suits this one time, they'll never ask again, right? (PG-13)
Opening Friday, Dec. 14:
Mortal Engines In this adaptation of the dystopian steampunk book series, society has been razed by a cataclysm that took just 60 minutes to play out. (SPOILER: It was the last episode of The Haunting of Hill House.) Now, cities like London are roving behemoths that actually travel about from place to place, looking for other communities to do battle with. The movie was produced and co-written by the long-disgraced Peter Jackson, which explains why its ratings on Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic are about on par with Trump's popularity. But boy, do I now want to see a movie about a postapocalyptic St. Cloud kicking Oviedo's ass. (PG-13)
The Mule Clint Eastwood directed himself as a World War II veteran who becomes a drug smuggler for a Mexican cartel. Based on the award-winning Reader's Digest article, "I Am Jack's Dangerously Overstuffed Colon." (R)
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse The last four movies with Spider-Man in them have all been pretty well-received, yet we still act like it's a red-letter day every time that happens. I guess Topher Grace is something it takes a long time to recover from. But what's particularly notable about Spider-Verse is that it's the first webhead flick in eons that Sony shepherded to good reviews without having Marvel Studios to help them out. And all they had to do was admit they can't do a damn thing right with the character in live-action. Plus bring in producers Lord and Miller of the great Lego franchise. Oh, and cast John Mulaney as Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham. There, that wasn't so hard, was it? (Note to DC: Patton Oswalt would make a heckuva Bat-Mite. Just sayin'.) (PG)
Also playing;
Bernie the Dolphin Two kids tumble to a secret grown-up plot after they meet a dolphin with a bad case of sunburn. And who likes to rail against the 1 percent. (OK, not really on that last part, but like you're going to see this thing.) (G; playing at AMC Dine-In Disney Springs 24)
