Opening in Orlando: Fifty Shades of Black, The Finest Hours and Jane Got a Gun

Fifty Shades of Black
Fifty Shades of Black

Fifty Shades of Black The parody film is a noble and often beneficial genre. From Support Your Local Sheriff to Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story to What We Do in the Shadows, there's something almost heroic about spending an entire movie eviscerating another movie or group of movies. And there's no market quite as rife for a lampoon as the subculture of suburban slap and tickle that grew up around the patently ridiculous Fifty Shades of Grey. Even better, Hollywood's sarcastic answer flick cross-pollinates the dungeon-bound dunder-headedness of Christian Grey with the overheated boinking of African-American erotic thrillers, which should make for double the ... oh shit, they gave it to a Wayans. Never mind. (R)

The Finest Hours Boy, Hollywood cannot figure out what to do with director Craig Gillespie. After helming the acclaimed Lars and the Real Girl, he's been bounced around between everything from the Fright Night remake to that Jon Hamm baseball picture Million Dollar Arm. Now Disney sets him loose on a true-life disaster epic, one that concerns a daring 1952 rescue mission to save the crew of an oil tanker split in half by a cataclysmic nor'easter. Oh, and Ben Foster and Chris Pine are in it, speaking of chess pieces Tinseltown can't figure out how to play. The smart money says this thing couldn't be saved if the Mighty Thor showed up in the climax to battle CGI whales. (PG-13)

Jane Got a Gun Hey, I'm always in the mood to find out what happened to Aerosmith heroines of 25 years ago. Unfortunately, Jane Got a Gun is Tyler-centric in name only – an Old West period piece in which homesteader Natalie Portman is threatened by the outlaw gang that offed her husband. Careful, boys! The title is a dead giveaway that Jane is packing heat, which makes this just another Natalie Portman movie in which the bullets fly the wrong way. The production notes reveal that Israel stood in for the Old West. Then again, when doesn't it? (R)

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