Premieres Wednesday:
Money Shot: The Pornhub Story — Is the world's most successful adult site a lifeline for the lonely, a valuable resource for sex workers or just a front for human trafficking? Experts weigh in and wag their tongues. (Which also happens to be a category on Pornhub.) (Netflix)
Ted Lasso — Ted's AFC Richmond football club has to defy expectations that it'll be the Premier League's biggest loser in Season 3. Meanwhile, former co-worker Nate is sitting pretty over at West Ham United. As for me, I can't believe I now live in a world where somebody other than Iron Maiden cares about this stuff. (Apple TV+)
Turning the Tables With Robin Roberts — Robin's guests in Season 2 include Brooke Shields, Dionne Warwick and Kelly Osbourne. And if you had held onto Cecily Strong, SNL, you could be doing this too. (Disney+)
Premieres Thursday:
Era Ora (Still Time) — Italy offers its own twist on Groundhog Day in a romcom about a guy going through a midlife crisis who starts waking up every morning to find out he's a year older. On the bright side, if he just waits a few weeks, he won't have to worry about that midlife crisis much longer. (Netflix)
Queens Court — The hunt is on to find new boyfriends who can handle being involved with women as famous and in demand as Tamar Braxton, Evelyn Lozada and Nivea. You'll be hooked from the fast-paced first episode, an AMA lightning round in which potential suitors are disqualified merely for asking "Now who are all of you again, exactly?" (Peacock)
Shadow and Bone — Season 2 of the fantasy series based on the writings of Leigh Bardugo adapts her book Siege and Storm while incorporating some all-original characters and plotlines to keep things unpredictable. The show has also moved from a TV-14 to a TV-MA rating, so I guess it's safe to surmise one of those new characters does drag. (Netflix)
Premieres Friday:
Agent Elvis — Matthew McConaughey supplies the voice of the King for an animated series that sees Elvis moonlighting as a government operative. Show co-creator Priscilla Presley plays herself. And as Lisa Marie: John Edward! (Netflix)
Angel Flight — Six Feet Under meets Pan Am in a bittersweet Japanese drama about a courier service that flies the remains of the dead back to their loved ones. The easy joke here would be "So it's the real Spirit Airlines." But honestly, the real comparison is to Malaysia Airlines, because they give you even less chance of getting home alive. (Prime Video)
Bono & The Edge: A Sort of Homecoming, With Dave Letterman — Dave travels to Dublin so the U2 duo can show him around, culminating in a stripped-down performance of some classic tunes. But the band isn't breaking up, honest! Larry and Adam were just holding out for Conan. (Disney+)
Boston Strangler — Keira Knightley and Carrie Coon play the reporters who exposed the perpetrator of the most notorious killing spree of the early '60s, fighting the sexism of the newspaper business and risking their own life in the process. But to be fair, it was also a great way to meet fellas. (Hulu)
Class of '07 — Imagine you're at your 10-year high-school reunion and BAM! The apocalypse hits. That's the premise of this Australian comedy series, in which the alumnae of a girls' school fight to survive a tidal wave that threatens all life on Earth. Still, it's gotta be better than being stuck at James Franco's house during the Rapture. (Or at any other time, really.) (Prime Video)
Dance 100 — At last, a dance competition in which the choreographers get the prize money. That is, if the routines they come up with find favor with the dancers who have to perform them, who just so happen to be the judges as well. So expect stiff penalties for anything too strenuous. (I once fired my personal trainer because he refused to count unwrapping a Charleston Chew as cardio.) (Netflix)
Dom — Season 2 of the Brazilian crime series is the last to be directed by show creator Breno Silveira, who had a heart attack after this round of episodes was in the can. Season 3 will be directed by protégés Vellas and Adrian Teijido. Knowing streaming, we'll then get a docuseries alleging they had him bumped off. (Prime Video)
Extrapolations — A star-studded cast including Meryl Streep, David Schwimmer, Kit Harington and Michael Gandolfini portrays the horrific complications of a future in which climate change has wreaked a perceptible toll on everyone's life. Unlike right now, when you're headed out to watch the Saint Patrick's Day parade in a thong. (Apple TV+)
In His Shadow — This French flick dramatizes the violent tensions that erupt between two half-brothers after their father passes away. I tell ya, it's a darn shame when a family can't agree who should get the Hummel figures. (Netflix)
Leave — As a baby, she was found swaddled in satanic iconography and lying in a graveyard; now, a 20-something young woman makes a pilgrimage to Norway to find out who she really is. Well, of course it's Norway: Her parents were clearly into black metal, and that Tampa shit was just too damn secular. (Shudder)
The Magician's Elephant — Natasia Demetriou, Benedict Wong and Aasif Mandvi lend their voices to the animated story of a boy who tries to win a magical pachyderm. Mandy Patinkin is in the cast as well, so get ready for a teachable moment with your kids about the meaning of the word "cloying." (Netflix)
Noise — A Belgian influencer gets sucked into his father's secret history, threatening his own relationship with his wife and infant son. But let's be honest, if you can live with a guy whose LinkedIn designation is "Belgian influencer," you can weather just about anything. (Netflix)
Sky High: The Series — In a spinoff from the 2020 film of the same name, a young widow decides to align herself with her late husband's criminal gang instead of working for her father, who also happens to be a mobster. See, these are the kind of choices you get to make when you're a nepo baby. (Netflix)
Swarm — Atlanta's Donald Glover and Janine Nabers reteam to tell the story of a superfan (Dominique Fishback) who's obsessed with a Beyoncé type. The writing staff of this new series includes none other than Malia Obama. So thank God there's no more Fairness Doctrine, because then we'd probably be forced to watch Chris Pratt stalking Jason Aldean. (Prime Video)
Premieres Monday:
Gabby's Dollhouse — In Season 7, the feline-friendly Gabby explores the wonders of travel by train, plane and hot-air balloon. If your tightened family budget no longer allows for Netflix, you can approximate the experience for your preschooler by trying to smuggle your Maine coon onto SunRail. (Netflix)
Premieres Tuesday:
We Lost Our Human — Wacky animation sparks an interactive special that sends a dog and cat in search of their owner after the world is suddenly purged of homo sapiens. Right, we all like to think our pets would immediately go looking for us. But deep down, you know the first thing they'd do would be to hijack our PayPal and go buck wild on Chewy. (Netflix)
