I did a Remix of a very traditional circa-1860s punch earlier in the month, and it's very nice, but it takes a bit of effort. On the other hand, I made the recipe below last night, and it was absolutely the easiest drink I've ever made — and popular. Quick trip to the liquor store and you're golden. Go get it.
The Easiest Goddamn Punch
Chill everything first just in case you have ice issues, like every party in history.
- 2 quart-capacity bowl
- 2 1/2 cups Laird's Applejack
- 3 cups apple cider (or hard cider if you want your guests to get drunkkkkkk)
- 6 ounces Grade B maple syrup (it's cheaper!)
- 6 ounces lemon juice
- 1 bottle cava, prosecco, cheap champagne or whatever
- 6-8 dashes Angostura bitters
- 1 Golden Delicious (or any yellow) apple, sliced into thin rounds