seaworld.com/orlando

Sure, SeaWorld still has a way to go on things like improving customer service, updating its fading facilities and correcting its still-questionable ethical treatment of animals, but it is hands down the best park for dads. There's pretty much beer everywhere, and best of all you get two free beers just for dragging your family there in the first place. Got a little kid who can't ride shit? Take 'em to that dog and cat show. Got a dumb teen that complains about everything? Buy 'em a $19 fastpass and don't see them for the rest of the day. If you're smart, you'll get the season pass, which is stupidly cheap and essentially includes a free pass to Aquatica.

disneyworld.disney.go.com

Back in April, Disney was very excited to open Toy Story Land at Hollywood Studios, and in doing so, they announced to everyone that they had erected a giant 20-foot Woody at the entrance of the new land. Though there was no mention of girth, Disney did also tell us the statue had a 7-foot-wide hat and a 4-foot-tall yo-yo. Naturally, the announcement made all stand at attention.

2. Orlando Sport and Social Club, orlandosportandsocialclub.com

3. Orlando Gay Kickball, gaykickball.com

2. Kennedy Space Center, kennedyspacecenter.com

3. (tie) Topgolf, topgolf.com

3. (tie) Gatorland, gatorland.com

2. Clearwater Beach, visitclearwaterflorida.com

3. Siesta Key, visitsarasota.com

2. Aloma Bowl, alomabowlingcenters.com

3. Kings Dining & Entertainment, kings-de.com

Honorable Mention: Colonial Lanes (RIP), coloniallanes.net

2. Wekiva Island, wekivaisland.com

3. Blue Springs, floridastateparks.org

2. Central Park, Winter Park, cityofwinterpark.org

3. Dickson Azalea Park, cityoforlando.net

2. Dr. Phillips Dog Park, orangecountyfl.net

3. Downey Dog Park, orangecountyfl.net

2. The Great Escape Room, thegreatescaperoom.com

3. The Escape Game Orlando, orlandoescapegame.com