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Local Charitable Group - Local Website - Local TV Newsperson - Local Bigshot - Local Blog - Local Politician - Local Radio Personality - Local Writer - Place to Take Visitors from Out of Town - Local Politician in Need of a Slap Upside the Head - Reason to Live in Orlando - Reason to Leave Orlando - TV News Hair - Whatever - Writer's Picks
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Best Local Charitable Group 2nd: Second Harvest Food Bank 3rd: Give Kids the World | ;
Best Local Writer 2 Billy Manes 3rd: Mike Thomas; | ;
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Best Local Website 2nd: The Daily City 3rd: Buy Local Orlando | ;
Best Place to Take Visitors from Out of Town 2nd: A Comic Shop | ;;
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Best Local TV Newsperson 2nd: Bob Opsahl 3rd: Danny Treanor | ;
Best Local Politician in Need of a Slap Upside the Head 2nd: U.S. Rep. Alan Grayson 3rd: (former) Orange County Commissioner Mildred Fernandez | ;
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Best Local Bigshot 2nd: Aaron Haaland 3rd: Jim Philips | ;
Best Reason to Live in Orlando 2nd: A Comic Shop 3rd: The people | ;
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Best Local Blog 2nd: Smile for Camera 3rd: Analog Artist Digital World | ;
Best Reason to Leave Orlando 2nd: Traffic 3rd: There is no beach | ;
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Best Local Politician 2nd: Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer ; 3rd: Orange County Commissioner Bill Segal | ;
Best TV News Hair ; 2nd: Bob Opsahl ;;WFTV Channel 9; | ;
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Best Local Radio Personality 2nd: Johnny Magic 3rd: Jayde | ;
Best Whatever 2nd: A Comic Shop 3rd: Hard Knocks | ;
Writer's picks
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Best year of tabloid infamy
;Orlando ultra lounges
Who says Tiger Woods never did anything for Orlando? The athletic cocksman's 2009 sex scandal dragged all kinds of filthy paraphernalia out of the dungeon of inequity known as his personal life, but he can be thanked for elevating the national infamy of Orlando's club scene, at least. From Club 23 to the Blue Martini, Orlando's muffin-topped waitresses experienced a moment in the TMZ spotlight that ended up looking relatively sophisticated next to what was to come later. In March, a woman claimed Florida native and Super Bowl MVP Santonio Holmes smashed a glass into her face at Club Rain on Kirkman Road. She sued Holmes and claimed the
;Orlando Police Department encouraged her not to file charges. (The police report was, somewhat suspiciously, filed weeks later.)
;You stay classy, Orlando.
Best monkey wrench
;Florida Tea Party
Ah, the Tea Party. Or Tea Parties. Or Florida Tea Party. Or Tea Parties of Florida. Or … confusing, isn't it? Sometimes it's that way on purpose. The real, authentic, original Tea Partiers are a proudly decentralized group, united in little more than hating "liberals/progressives," remaining disorganized and claiming the name. But in August 2009, a few locals with long political histories – Fred O'Neal, Doug Guetzloe and Nick Egoroff – registered an actual "Tea Party" with the Florida Division of Elections, threatening to split the vote against TPer's bête noire Rep. Alan Grayson. Fundraising letters went out in the name of the "Florida Tea Party," which prompted immediate indignant disavowals from "real" unofficial Tea Partiers, and the whole thing has degenerated into a mess of dueling lawsuits.
;;Best (and most frightening) self-referential political stunt
;Linda Stewart's self-replication
;at Come Out with Pride
;www.lindastewartformayor.com
Last October's Come Out With Pride parade was, as usual, a rainy mess of expensive cologne fumes stirred by the big, gay thumps of house anthems. But it also turned out to be a political-cloning exercise for Orange County mayoral hopeful Linda Stewart (who can also be mistaken for a 3 a.m. drag-queen hallucination on occasion). Stewart made be-wigged waves with her growing gay fanbase by turning a select segment of them into male Linda Stewarts on bicycles. While the stunt may not have been a total stretch for a campaign seemingly sewn together by nimble queer fingers, Stewart's self-deprecating self-replication proved the afternoon's most worthwhile spectacle, at least among those spectacles that were wearing shirts.
;;Best botched repair of arterial occlusion
;Orange Avenue Streetscape,
;Winter Park
An aerial view of this rehabilitated gateway to Winter Park shows multiple veins coming together in a knot of
;confusion, with the centerpiece – a clock – sidelined to an inconspicuous corner. If you dare look at the Roman numbers, you risk missing a death-defying move by a pedestrian, cyclist or motorist trying to cross the $2.7 million Orange Avenue Streetscape project, which is supposed to actually improve the six-way crossroads of North Orange Avenue, South Denning Drive and Minnesota Avenue. Just as inscrutable as the intersection is the reality that more city streetscape projects
;are underway.
Best community organizer
;Kat Quast
Zombies and kickball may not seem like the most obvious way to bring a neighborhood together, but by organizing and promoting events like Zombietoberfest, a Monty Python tribute festival and, yes, a kickball tournament, Kat Quast is at the forefront of defining the vibe of the
;previously inchoate Audubon Park Garden District. Roughly encompassing the strip of Corrine Drive between Leu Gardens and Baldwin Park – including Stardust Video and Coffee, Park Ave CDs, Big Daddy's Roadhouse and other shops and restaurants – the district organically became one of the hippest places in town. Thanks to Quast's efforts, the area is thriving, both as a destination and as a livable and
;vibrant community.
Best trivial pursuit of national notoriety
;Scott Maxwell becomes an
;answer on Jeopardy!
On April 20, the name of everyone's favorite do-gooder dreamboat of an Orlando Sentinel columnist mysteriously dripped from the tongue of Jeopardy!'s King Geek Alex Trebek. "Columnist Scott Maxwell stands guard for this Orlando paper," read the blue-and-white screen associated with a second-round $2,000 prize. Maxwell would shortly thereafter explain that the "stand guard"-as-Sentinel-reference eluded him – rendering him an unlikely Jeopardy! contestant in his own right.
;;Best morning wood
;The Senator, Big Tree Park
; 761 General Hutchison Parkway,
;Longwood
Morning, noon or night, The Senator is the biggest natural shaft in these parts. And as a fillip to all you worried older guys, it's more than 3,500 years old and still standing tall. In fact it's one of the tallest bald cypress trees in the country at about 125 feet – and that's after losing 40 feet to a 1926 hurricane. As centerpiece of a park, The Senator has sprouted supporting amenities: a wooden walkway, picnic area and restrooms. Those are needed because the big stick has been attracting visitors at least since President Calvin Coolidge came to
;stroke it.
Best little-girl-lost story that doesn't end with a body
;Nadia Bloom's successful rescue
Florida has seen enough missing girls turn up dead, if they turn up at all, to risk becoming an Internet meme, so it was extra-good news when 11-year-old Winter Springs girl Nadia Bloom was found alive and relatively well on April 13 after four harrowing days lost in the woods. Whew. But the best people-watching came in the immediate
;aftermath, wherein her rescuer turned out to be a creepy old outdoorsman who claimed he started speaking in tongues shortly before finding her and that God led him there. Even better were the cries of "hallelujah" the unbelievable tale elicited even from typically levelheaded reporters like the Sentinel's
;Scott Maxwell.
Best small-town spectacle
;Resident chickens in downtown Oviedo
If you've ever wondered why the chicken crossed the road, you might find the answer in Oviedo, where more than 30 free-roaming chickens stake claim to the parking lot of fast-food/fried-chicken purveyor Popeye's. The chickens likely trace back to a rooster and hen spotted in the mid-1990s in a downtown parking lot. A businessman with a fondness for fowl fed and nurtured the pair, which eventually turned into a flock. The birds – which locals say are
;reminders of the town's simple farming roots – like to
;loiter while those who like their chicken a little less fresh and with a little more breading enjoy their
;greasy feasts.
Best case of politics literally choking on testosterone
;The No-Name Club scandal
It's an unwritten rule on the political highball circuit that the best deals are drawn in the whiskey-tainted spittle of aging men who navigate expensive cars and silicone breasts through the suit-pant swish of extravagant private events. In March, Republican lobbyist Fred Leonhardt accidentally let the dog out of the bag when he let word seep into the public domain about his secret "The No Name Club," an all-male (except for the eye candy) group that held private parties at upscale venues. Orange County mayor Rich Crotty – along with a host of other guy guys including mayoral hopeful Bill Segal and various Sentinel staffers – got caught in the hormone fallout of the cigar-smoke-filled balloon leak, leading many female politicians to cry foul over the potential ethics violations implied by such exclusionary events. At least one among them, mayoral hopeful Mildred
;Fernandez, would go on to eat her words when she was arrested on corruption charges just a
;month later. Fishy.
Best train of fools
;The radical disconnect of SunRail and high-speed rail
At some point in all of the pronouncements about infrastructural improvements involving railroads, somebody must have pulled his head out of the engine room and noticed that our two biggest transportation projects – the SunRail commuter train and the federally funded high-speed rail line to Tampa – were not being developed with a conjunction junction in mind. Back in February, Orange County mayor Rich Crotty sounded the whistle of the obvious, calling for some kind of connection between the CSX-tracked commuter line and the shiny new non-CSX bullet train; he's since gone on to endorse a privately funded Maglev pipe dream to connect the two earthbound lines, while others have suggested a
;connecting bus.
Best movie scene come to life
;Jason Rodriguez downtown shutdown
Friday, Nov. 6, 2009, was a quiet day in the old, now-rotting Orlando Weekly offices on Livingston Street when, on our "royal-We" trip to get some lunch, there arose such a clatter. It was a big-ass tank! We looked out at the horizon; no cars on I-4! After we sprinted back to the safety of our leaky former building, it was discovered that Jason Rodriguez, a guy who believed his brain was being hacked, had killed someone at his former office at Gateway Center, injured others and was … wait for it … still on the loose! Armed SWAT teams scoured the streets looking for the fugitive, who was finally caught two and a half hours later.
;;;Best post-interview arts booster etiquette
;Kathy Ramsberger
;www.drphillipscenter.org
On the surface, Kathy Ramsberger, president of the Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts, is an impenetrable wall of development boosterism. She trots her way through the questionable financing of the ill-conceived performing arts center with all of the aplomb of a seasoned realtor on her way to the nearest appletini. But she didn't come to her position of power without manners. Following a two-hour interview with her earlier this year, Ramsberger sent this paper a follow-up gift: a framed square of the old, orange flag that hung outside city hall for about six months and read "2012" – the date the Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts was supposed to open. The flag was quietly lowered last year when it became obvious that the center would not open on time. "A piece of the arts center's history for your desk," read the postcard delivered with the fabric square. "An inaugural flag remnant." Then she went on to soil the name of the paper to everyone she could after OW's story on the Phillips center ("Keeping up appearances," March 24) hit the stands. No hard feelings, though. It's the thought
;that counts.
