The Teevee: Louie 2x03.

Welcome to the third edition of The Teevee, a new occasional feature in which film/music editor Justin Strout, arts & culture/food editor Jessica Bryce Young and staff writer Billy Manes gchat about their favorite shows the morning after. Also, it should go without saying, but the following is one giant SPOILER ALERT!!!!! In this episode, Strout and Young dissect the third ep of Louie, Season Two, titled “Moving.”. Enjoy and come back soon! Jessica:  Good morning! We're movin' on up! Justin:  We are! To a deeeeluxe townhouse in Tribeca-ish Jessica:  This was a very moving episode. Justin:  We've been told that we go on a bit in these things, so we should say that this will be Fast and Furious: Memory Drift Jessica:  Louie got a realty check Justin:  we're gonna go all over the our MINDS! Jessica:  Right. So, plot recap: Justin:  Also, we're on deadline for Tuesday's Best of Orlando 2011. #shameless #dying Jessica:  Louie decides he needs to get out of the apt. he shared with his wife, and goes on the apartment-hunting quest. Which is, for a NY-er, soul-crushing. Justin:  i can imagine he was spurred on by – and this is a theme – his daughter, who is, I imagine, becoming her mother very quickly Jessica:  Yes, I think I'm getting that feeling too. Justin:  there's always one kid who's like an echo of your partner Jessica:  Or, y'know, oldest female in the house with Daddy = Daddy's helpmeet #noincesto Justin:  that can hit that nagging high note in your soul that your ex used to or still does Jessica:  I found it interesting that the opening stand-up was a) a story about a Hasid trying to cram a suitcase into the overhead bin (pretty apt metaphor for the confronting-your-junk moment that comes when you have to move) and b) first time we see him on the show not totally owning the audience. he loses the plot onstage. Justin:  you think so? i was gonna ask you about that Jessica:  He's distracted! HE'S GOTTA GET OUT OF THAT APARTMENT! right? Justin:  i agree! There's a line in Funny People after Sandler gets offstage at a tough one: "That wasn't a pee, that was a shit." Louie took a shit last night. Jessica:  yep. so, he starts touring places with a realtor (and fuck them, I'm not capitalizing that word, trademark MY ASS.) hello, Donna Hanover! Justin:  haha Jessica:  Giuliani's ex. ha freakin' ha. stunt casting? Justin:  amazeballs. everything everything everything everything waltzing with the devil Jessica:  the best: Realtor: "There’s lots of light, really modern, plenty of space.” Louie: "None of those things are true about this place." and the sight gags: the apartment that just ENDS where there should be another room. wait you mean THE PLACE? Justin:  yes, the palace Jessica:  the awesome building he ends up seeing? Becasue I'm not letting you skip over the Pickle Man's railroad apartment. Justin:  oh fuck, OK. You're right, let's give Shia his due Jessica:  SHIA? oh haha Mr. Bait & Switch Justin:  "B like Boratikashi!" Jessica:  yeah, how is it possible Louie was surprised by that move? Justin:  luckily, he had my sweet angel of mercy, Pamela Adlon, with him

Jessica:  They advertised an apartment that sounded too good to be true, to get him in the rental office so they could show him their overpriced shithole apartments. Adlon: Especially awesome this ep I love it seemed like they were flirting with those guys getting together They're doing homey stuff! and then Justin:  i know, then just crashing it all down on us Jessica:  NOPE. Justin:  like "haha, viewer. you suck for thinking it." Jessica:  "Men. You all suck — I'm Audi." (love the outdated slang also) Justin:  OK, so this week's Supreme Character Actor Shout-Out goes to Shafik Bahou as Shai (not Shia) Jessica:  i dunno Justin:  his only credit, I believe, is Men Who Stare At Goats Jessica:  Old Man In Underpants Eating Pickle was pretty good. Justin:  Haha, yes The Man with the Egg. Jessica:  The kind of place 99% of America would recoil from but a New Yorker's like, Eh, it's pretty good!

Justin:  And how about that surreal scene outside the apartment? Interchangeable homeless people standing on a manhole cover? Shadowy government conspiracy? Jessica:  hilarious. loved it. I'll have a skinny half-caf Futility of Life with a shot of Surreality, please Justin:  so weird and poignant. i don't know why, but the idea that some bizarre action movie, which he's only catching minor details of, is going on right outside this shitty apartment Jessica:  it's also like, only he understands how this apartment is a BAD PLACE, and no one will believe him or agree with him. "Here's a terrible thing that only you saw! Haha!" —Life. Justin:  So Adlon leaves these sad sacks to their sulking, and he goes absolutely apeshit, deciding to look at something Sean Parker might call excessive. Jessica:  yes. he hits the mother lode. Justin:  which, we know thanks to Marc Maron's podcast, he at least used to do. go crazy, buy something excessive, feel guilty. i know you haven't heard it yet, but there's a culmination in real life that involved a brass instrument and a peep show. that's when he learned to just jerk off instead when he feels like spending all his money Jessica:  ahahaha excellent. Justin:  but yeah, it's a problem for Louie. And Louis. He takes the plunge and wants to be shown the Secret Garden of the East Side. asking price: $17 million. That's. In. Sane.

Jessica:  I actually thought that was reasonable. In the world of NY real estate. it's funny, I watched w/a couple of other people and they both guessed MUCH lower. I guessed $20M. Justin:  you're kidding! Jessica:  no! why? Justin:  i did some Googling afterward and that's around the same price as DSK's penthouse Jessica:  really? Justin:  Madonna and A-Rod numbers, for sure Jessica:  I guess in 2011 it's high. but in the early 2000s ... not unrealistic. Justin:  although at that moment he certainly wanted to feel like one of those players Jessica:  and it was an amazing place, and a whole building. Justin:  amazing Jessica:  no one gets that in NY! Justin:  gorgeous And that hard sell!!! Theodore Roosevelt and Lenny Bruce. In his world, that's TWO presidents. Jessica:  right? hilarious. It felt like she had his number, but I think she was oblivious. Justin:  oh yeah "a somewhat successful comedian...Lenny Bruce?" faux ignorance, all the way i would've signed those papers especially right now. I really identify with that American urge to prove your worth by buying a house, even if you have "less than 10x less than the first mortgage payment." Jessica:  oh, the scene with his accountant was so painful. Justin:  painful $7k in savings?! what is he doing?? i hope that's far from reality Jessica:  I was slightly impatient though, because it was patently obvious that there was absolutely no way he could ever, ever, ever afford that place. Justin:  that makes his decision that much more effective, though. he's jumped off a cliff and he'd better learn to fly quick Jessica:  but I guess it was about wanting to be a different person, the kind of person who lives in that house is the kind of person who has no fear about how well he's providing for his children's future (in Louie's mind, whatever the reality is) Justin:  possibly the season's motif? forcing yourself to go to the next level? Jessica:  yep or growing into his kids Justin:  how so? Jessica:  I don't think he's quite as amazed by what assholes they are as he was when they were babies and next year, maybe even less so .. Justin:  in life, you mean? like providing in a real way? cuz it didn't seem like he wasn't, but I know from experience that you never feel like you're giving them what they deserve Jessica:  the house wasn't because HE wanted a palace; it was because he wanted to give them a place THEY would love Justin:  right Jessica:  (maybe more than Mom's? hahah) Justin:  exactly Jessica:  and it's a symbol for wanting to be the guy who has a college fund sorted, etc. so if he's thinking like that, maybe he's moving away from being incredulous at what pains in the ass kids are Justin:  not to make this about me, but I've been at that crazy point where you're going, "I'm a bad father if we don't have a backyard for a dog to roam free in." Then looking at houses with backyards, then looking at your budget, thinking, "Fuck it. I'll find a way." Jessica:  yeah, I'm missing the wanting to own a home gene along with the wanting kids gene (maybe they're the same thing) but this was an episode of Universal Emotions very relatable. Justin:  absolutely Jessica:  (which is why I appreciated the hobo-swap moment) Justin:  so he took the plunge. is the show gonna gloss over that, do you think? is it the kind of show with arc-long consequences?

Jessica:  yeah, then we wrap it all up with Louie and the girls painting. the old apartment. With nary a crack about how fucking useless they are. IS LOUIE HUGGING AND LEARNING? ugh. he took no plunge! he resigned himself and did the mature thing Justin:  wait...that was the old apartment?!?! i completely missed that! I thought he bought it! holy shit, ok Jessica:  HAHAHAHA you thought he bought the palace????? Justin:  i did Jessica:  wow. WOWOW. yeah, no, he sucked it up and he did the cutesy thing of letting them paint! Justin:  meh? Jessica:  Old Louie would be like, fuck it, these kids will do a shitty job New Louie includes them!! bleccchh Justin:  hey, you know who's NOT a fan of Louis C.K.? Jessica:  no ... who? JustinMs. Jolie Holland said something to me about his disgusting jokes about his daughters she might like New Louie... Jessica:  ech, whatever. so next week: MISS JOAN RIVERS. Justin:  I KNOW!!! let's not spoil. but it's...unusual. can i pitch an idea to you? it's great. we start with your mom...we kind of lower her into a bathtub... Jessica:  until then, can I make you some eggs? Justin:  crunchy around the edges, pleeez! (the egg, not your mom) Jessica:  HAHAHA Justin:  Best. Go. Jessica:  OK, I think I probably already did it. Best: a tie between "None of those things are true" and the awesome, one-sided dozens with Todd Barry, which we are letting viewers enjoy on their own. Justin:  sweet Jessica:  you? Justin:  "B like Boratikashi" Jessica:  hahaha Justin:  worst? Jessica:  worst has to be the lack of bitching at the end, which I have already more than made up for by bitching about the lack of bitching. Bitch bitch bitch. What was your worst, bitch? Justin:  his daughter's "That's mama's" thing about the desk. the lip on this chick! it made me want to send her to her room through the screen Jessica:  ugh, yes. Justin:  all right. BOO time! Jessica:  it's the very best. Justin:  better than diarrhea from homeless people, for sure. spoiler alert Jessica:  or, a term I learned on a doc about chimps last night, "fear dung." Justin:  great phrase Jessica:  see ya! #nofeardung
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