Selections: Our picks for the best things to do in Orlando this week

Diana Ross
Diana Ross

Thursday, 22
History in a Glass

Fun fact: Swans are not native to Florida. Those white- and black-feathered mascots entertaining passers-by at Lake Eola are all descended from swans imported to the area over the years, a tradition started by Charles Lord in 1910 when he paid for two pairs of swans to be shipped from Connecticut to make their home at Lake Lucerne. One of those swans, Billy, became known as the "Tyrant of Lake Lucerne" for aggressively defending his territory against such threats as schoolchildren and cars. He also reportedly drowned his mate, Sally, by holding her head under water. And he's the first piece of local history that the Orange County Regional History Center pays tribute to this week with their History in a Glass series. Bartenders from three downtown craft cocktail boozers – the Woods, the Courtesy Bar and Hanson's Show Repair – create cocktails inspired by the tale of Orlando's first swan. After you get boozed up, be sure to get a selfie with Billy, seeing as how he now resides in a glass case somewhere in the History Center. – Thaddeus McCollum

5:30-8:30 p.m. | Orange County Regional History Center, 65 E. Central Blvd. | 407-836-8500 | | $25

Thursday, 22
Divine Sisters of Filth

The arrival of John Waters and his Baltimorean Dreamland troupe was a seismic shock to the counterculture of the 1970s. The holy trilogy that was Multiple Maniacs, Pink Flamingos and Female Trouble was nothing less than a declaration of war against straight white suburbia, a Helter Skelter on the sensibilities of the film-going public, all led with impeccable vileness and beauty by the singular Divine. Divine – Waters' muse, a born superstar, a proto-punk icon and pinnacle of fucked glamor – has only grown in stature and influence since his passing in 1988. In his prime, Divine looked gorgeous and horrifying simultaneously, delivering classic monologues about murder and crime, injecting liquid eyeliner, attacking audiences, killing anyone onscreen unlucky enough to cross him, and doing it all with impeccable style. Divine set a new template for drag performance, where beauty became a deliciously fluid construct, a gauntlet increasingly picked up today by a new generation of drag stars. The riotous Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence here are recast as the Sisters of Divine Filth to pay homage to their patron saint; Sister Ambrosia Discordia, Axel Andrews, April Fresh, Mr. Mrs. Adrien, Broadway Brunch Bunch, and many more are participating in the live ceremony of Observance. We're praying to the saints above (or below, whichever) that fish will be thrown at the audience. – Matthew Moyer

8 p.m. | The Venue, 511 Virginia Drive | 407-412-6895 | | $15

Friday, 23

Even though the members of Seattle's Wimps have grown-up jobs that limit their touring schedule, and write songs about how great naps are and the frustrations of being the old guy at a party, they're still undeniably punk, even if it's only part-time. Wimps' songs are full of humor and nervous, head-bobbing energy, with a deliberately minimal aesthetic that belies the chops of some of their members; singer-guitarist Rachel Ratner was in cult speed-punk band Butts, and drummer Dave Ramm played with the Intelligence. This is Wimps' first time touring the southeast, and it comes with the chance to hear some new material they've been working on for their next album. Plus, it'll likely be the last time they come through until they can save up some PTO. – TM

with Radicalized Youth, Tight Genes | 8 p.m. | Will's Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave. | | $6-$8

Saturday, 24

What's the next best thing to dressing up for a fancy TEDxOrlando event at the Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts? Watching it at home in your jammies with a plate of Froot Loops. TEDxOrlando sold out all its tickets to the event, but you can still watch along for free on its Facebook livestream. Whether you're at home or lucky enough to have purchased a ticket, get ready to enjoy deep discussions from interesting local speakers like Albert Manero, founder of Limbitless Solutions, which makes 3-D printed robotic arms for children in need, or Dr. Joshua Stephany, the Orange County Chief Medical Examiner who helped respond to the Pulse tragedy. There will also be performances by the Orlando Gay Chorus and Studio 18 Musicians. Enjoy from wherever you are! – Monivette Cordeiro

2-6 p.m. | Alexis & Jim Pugh Theater, Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts, 445 S. Magnolia Ave. | 844-513-2014 | | | sold out, free to livestream

Saturday, 24

In a social media age of constant multi-platform transparency, mystique becomes an ever more rare and valuable commodity in arts and music. A notable exception to this saturation (in our own extended backyard, no less) is enigmatic Florida performing entity Haves&Thirds. The solo vehicle for Tampa-and-proud-of-it resident Todd Lynne, Haves&Thirds has served as a fulcrum for a thriving DIY community that has fostered musicians as diverse as Merchandise, Russian Tsarlag, Naga and i_like_dog_face. And Lynne keeps the DIY torch burning brightly in distinctly analog forms – running the Cephia's Treat label, recording bands in his house and screenprinting show posters. Often overlooked in this beehive of activity, however, is the sheer crystalline gorgeousness of Haves&Thirds' music. Imagine an endless loop of all your favorite instrumental hooks from Cure songs, or Stone Roses' rehearsal outtakes where Ian Brown didn't bother to show up, or even 4AD-style postpunk reimagined in the swampy haze of a Florida summer. Live, Lynne keeps it cryptic, playing simultaneous synth and guitar all masked and anonymous. Haves&Thirds are joined on Saturday by a who's-who of outsider creativity, including Tallahassee's blacksunblackmoon, filmmaker Kate Shults, local dronescaper Temperament (playing hooky from his various metal projects) and the inimitable insult comedian T Func. – MM

with blacksunblackmoon, Kate Shults, Temperament, T Func | 9 p.m. | The Falcon, 819 E. Washington St. | | $5 suggested donation

Sunday, 25
Ominous George

We here at Orlando Weekly are among playwright-producer Steve Schneider's greatest fans. Not just because he has staged Orlando Fringe hits like Escape From Baldwin Park and The Wait List Murders; not only because we stand in awe of his encyclopedic knowledge of KISS minutiae and grammatical rules; but – full disclosure – because he was a major part of OW's editorial team for several years as film and arts editor and even now still writes a weekly film column for us. But those are the reasons we'd go to the show; why should you? Well, this is a one-night-only remounting from last month's Fringe festival, at which Ominous George won Patrons' Pick in their venue and the Critics' Award for Best Original Score/Music. Schneider says the cabaret-style show is "like a concept album come to life: as if the great producer Bob Ezrin (Alice Cooper, Lou Reed, KISS) had helped a band work up a song cycle for the stage instead of the recording studio." And as well as a snappy local beer list, Maxine's is one of the most picturesque cafés in town. This might be the most Orlando-in-the-know evening you'll ever experience. – Jessica Bryce Young

7 p.m. | Maxine's on Shine, 337 Shine Ave. | | $10

Monday, 26
Bite Night

The City Beautiful is brimming with creatively wholesome restaurants, and Orlando Weekly has dedicated the month of June to the most mouth-watering establishments. Bite30 is a 30-day ode to Orlando’s best restaurants, and there’s only one way to end it: with a giant celebration where you can grab a taste from 20 Orlando restaurants all in one place. Experience bites from Artisan’s Table, Seasons 52, 4 Rivers Smokehouse, the brand-new Stubborn Mule and more. VIP tickets get you into the ballroom an hour early so you can get even more time to stuff your face and throw back some drinks at the open bar. Add a silent auction benefiting the Edible Education Experience and some live entertainment, and you’ve got a full plate that’ll satisfy a little more than your hunger. – Kristin James

7-10 p.m. | The Orchid Garden, 122 W. Church St. | | $50-$75

Tuesday, 27
Diana Ross

Diana Ross is one of the few performers living today who require very little in the way of introduction or historical overview – everyone can reflexively sing the chorus of at least two of her hits – while at the same time it's very much worth outlining the chameleonic career of one of the great, versatile voices of American popular music. With an almost (pre?) Bowie-esque flair for reinvention, Ross has done it all: girl-group innovator as leader of the Supremes ('60s), electro-disco diva with the smoldering "Love Hangover" ('70s), the total liberation heraldry of "I'm Coming Out" ('80s) and so on. Not to mention Mahogany and the goddamn perfect The Wiz. Ross has nothing to promote – other than her regal self – but she has dubbed this the "In the Name of Love" tour because, well, why the hell not? Get ready to breathe deeply of the essence of pop royalty and be drowned in a tidal wave of hits that stretches across decades. – MM

with Rhonda Ross | 7:30 p.m. | Walt Disney Theater, Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts, 445 S. Magnolia Ave. | 844-513-2014 | | $49.50-$129.50

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