;Thursday•4
;;Pinups People keep asking us when the film The Notorious Bettie Page is going to get to Orlando (answer: May 26, at least for now), which we guess means that this community's appetite for cheesecake kitsch is at an all-time high. While you're waiting, there's always the sweet relief proposed by "Pinups," this month's "1st Thursdays" gathering at Orlando Museum of Art. Subtitled "The Women Who Kept Our Men Fighting," the event may sound as if it's being flown in under the rubric of "support the troops" straight-arrowness, but we all know that there'll be a lot more than patriotism on the minds of the assembled hipster oglers. A collection of vintage and modern pinup-girl portraits will show that, when it comes to playful pre-porn, there's nothing like a Princess phone and a fur-trimmed baby doll nightie to help an "art aficionado" access his inner dirty old man (or woman). (6 p.m.-9 p.m. at Orlando Museum of Art; $7; 407-896-4231)
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;;Caliban We paled when we first heard Tool's "Die Eier von Satan," recoiling from the inscrutable Eastern European voice and the crazed-sounding mob that applauded his obviously ominous instructions. When we discovered the song was a dramatic reading of a cookie recipe, we relaxed and appreciated the ruse, which reinforced the intimidation powers of sternly spoken German. American industrial group Hanzel und Gretyl built its career on cultural appropriation, fine-tuning false accents and lifting lyrics from Hogan's Heroes episodes. Real German bands can be terrifying too, even without singing in their native tongue. Kreator, Destruction and Sodom (all recently reunited) injected unprecedented brutality into '80s metal, and the relatively fresh-faced Caliban recruited a member of that thrash trinity (Kreator's Mille Petrozza) to appear on its latest release Undying Darkness. With two vocalists (one barks during breakdowns, the other carries the melodic choruses) and dual guitarists, Caliban incorporates an elastic spectrum of influences, alternating old-school hardcore riffs and power-metal harmonies. Caliban seems to share an absurdist sense of humor with the faux-German impostors, though it's possible lyrics such as "I rape myself and I don't know why" are serious sentiments. We've learned there's occasionally something lost in the German/English translation. (with Sworn Enemy, Ion Dissonance, Embrace the End, Dance Floor Tragedy; 6 p.m. at Will's Pub; $12; 407-898-5070)
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;;Friday•5
;;Orlando Polynesian Festival If you've ever enjoyed the kitschy and exotic flavor of SeaWorld's Makahiki Luau, then you know that this downtown celebration of Polynesian culture is a worthy way to while away the hours that otherwise could be devoted to Cinco de Mayo festivities. Netane Entertainment, the company behind the SeaWorld dinner attraction (which marks its 25th anniversary there this year) has moved the second annual Polynesian Festival to Church Street. (The debut was in the dying Mercado.) There will be traditional music, dance, crafts and foods outside in the streets, with two concerts by contemporary bands from Orange County, Calif. — Local Culture and Mana Poly All-Stars. Organizer Nei Netane estimates that about 1 percent of the Florida population is Polynesian in descent. So for authenticity, she imports her fire sword dancers and hula girls directly from the islands in the region: Hawaii, Fiji, Samoa and Tonga. A golf tournament during the day is also planned, as is a VIP dinner that night, where kava will flow. "It looks like mud and tastes like it," says Netane of the South Pacific herb that's served from a bowl and renowned for its tranquilizing effects. (8 p.m. at Church Street Station; $10 adults, $5 children under age 12; 407-812-6100; www.orlando
;polyfest.com)
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;;Saturday•6
;;Sunny Tired of smoky, crowded bars being the only places you can go to get a little music in your life? So are we. And so is Sunny Raskin, the gifted vocalist whose solo electronic-influenced work and collaborations with the likes of The Legendary J.C.'s made her as omnipresent as she was integral to Orlando's music scene. But she's been less visible lately, focusing more on her first love, modern dance. By fusing her passion for both music and dance (and everyone's passion for sushi), Raskin hit on the excellent idea of curating an exceptional night out: This performance is pegged as "a music, dance and dining experience," as it will include a coterie of dancers and multiple instrumentalists ("Violin! Piano! Congas! Tablas! Bass! Cello!" shouts the flyer) performing musical and dance pieces by Sunny. The kicker? Your ticket price includes a sushi dinner, thus making this the hippest dinner theater outing until Dixie Stampede has "Free Moonshine Night." (7:15 p.m. at Harwood-Watson Dance Studios; also Sunday at 2:15 p.m.; $25; 407-361-2691)
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;;;Grassroots Music and Camping Festival If you've been longing for a festival where you can let out your inner hippie (wear tie-dye, dance barefoot, bang on a djembe, sit around a campfire, etc.), but aren't quite ready to brave a Rainbow Gathering, think of this get-together as your kinder, gentler intro to the hippie-fest. You'll get to "celebrate our common vibe" in true hippie style: DIY. It's bring-your-own-everything: beer, food (there will also be vendors selling food and drink), other "consumables," camping gear, musical instruments, art supplies, hemp, patchouli, friends and good vibes. On the roster to perform: "urban fusionists" Sol.Illaquists of Sound, improv rockers Crazy Fingers, country swingers Hindu Cowboys, acoustic folksters Omiza River Band, alt-country outfit The Heathens and more. In between the jam sessions, self-taught "art shamans" Jeff Riggan and Vic Kusik will create "live" improvisational art. (gates open at noon, music 1 p.m.-12:30 a.m. at Renninger's Natural Amphitheater, Mount Dora; $15-$20; www.grassrootsmusicandcamping.com)
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;Mario Gully The purpose of the industry-wide promotion Free Comic Book Day is to attract new readers to the art form, and young ones in particular (hence the kid-oriented content of many of the titles that are distributed on the day). Adopting such a healthy habit is even more attractive when wedded with the opportunity to get an autograph or an original sketch from artist Mario Gully, whose biography is as much of a cautionary tale as any hero's origin. An area resident since childhood, Gully is also an ex-con who once served a 52-week sentence in the 33rd Street Jail for attempted robbery. While inside his cell one day, he says, he watched an ant crawl in from the outside — which got him thinking about the nature of freedom and possible ways to channel the passion for drawing he'd always harbored. Years later, he's an established member of the Image Comics stable with his Ant, a strip about a troubled young woman leading a double life as a costumed superheroine. "My message is, there's a better way to use your creativity instead of being negative," says Gully. And that's by saying "yes" to bugs, "no" to thugs. (with X-Factor artist Dennis Calero; 1 p.m.-5 p.m. at Sci-Fi City; free; 407-282-2292)
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;;;Take It Outside
;After studying the amazing docu-mentary about
;land artist Andy Goldsworthy's work, Rivers and Tides, and the work of other environmental artists, Seminole Community College art students were urged to try their hand at "art that interprets and addresses the theme of the environment in some way, either directly or indirectly." As a result, the Casselberry Art House has been taken over inside and out with sculptures, drawings, paintings and photography. If your dream job involves Greenpeace or the EPA, visiting this exhibit should be on your to-do list. (reception tonight 6 p.m.-8 p.m. at the Casselberry Art House; exhibit continues 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Monday-Friday through May 26; free; 407-262-7720)
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;Tuesday•9
;;Inkwell It's been a while since Inkwell played in town, and that pisses us off. But — because we're really cool and know how to use the Internet — we've been listening to their upcoming CD in the interim. And, as much as we loved their debut, we're completely digging on the new disc, as Travis Adams has figured out how to ratchet up both the melodic complexity and post-punk velocity. Though Inkwell is moving farther and farther away from being a "punk" band, they're moving closer and closer to being a huge band that still manages to be completely awesome. (with Cruiserweight, Feable Weiner, Noah's Arcade, The 4 J's; 5 p.m. at Will's Pub; 407-898-5070)
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;Contributors: Avery Beckendorf, Jason Ferguson, Amber Foster, Andrew Miller, Steve Schneider, Lindy T. Shepherd
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