Area man gets hammered on camera … for the kids!

It’s OK, you can admit it: Up until now, you’ve considered “ABC Family” one of the scariest two-word phrases in the English language

right up there with “genital mutilation.” And “praise band.”

But that all ends this Sunday night at 8 p.m., when the channel plays host to delightful local actor A. Ali Flores, who’ll have a plum role  in the original TV-movie My Future Boyfriend.

According to Flores’ description, the show sounds kinda like a latter-day Somewhere in Time, with a visitor from the future (Barry Watson) trying to strike up a romance with a 21st-century novelist (Sara Rue) he’s become fixated upon.

And just what is Flores’ role within this heartwarming scenario?

He gets shitface drunk, natch!

Yep, Flores plays a barfly who helps Watson’s character down enough liquid courage to confront the woman of his dreams at a book party. (Kudos to ABC Family for dispensing with the unfortunate stereotype of the magical gay friend who’s behind every hetero hookup.  Thanks to the channel’s pioneering efforts, we now know that it’s alcoholic Mexican strangers who do this.)

According to Flores, the Atlanta shoot was “awesome” yet had its hardships, including 30-degree weather for the exterior scenes and the inability to drown one’s sorrows in actual booze.

“I’m not a fan of cranberry juice and that’s what I had to drink for six hours,” he laments, “’cause they wouldn’t let us have real hurricanes.”

That mini-tragedy came on the heels of the near-heartbreak Flores had suffered shortly after his audition, when it seemed he hadn’t received a callback for the role

not realizing it was because he had been booked for the part “right off the tape.” (Time to finally activate that voicemail, Ali; you may be losing lawn-care jobs!)

If, like me, you first became aware of Flores’ comedic stylings via his participation in the wonderful Doodie Humor troupe, you’ll find it amusing that his latest foray seems of a piece with their individual career trajectories: Fellow Doodier Michele Feren, you may recall, appeared in the 2008 theatrical feature Sex Drive, in which she played “Drunk Amish Girl.” It’s so nice to see these folks finally get recognized for their standout qualities. And all that closing-time “scene work.”

Flores even got an extra perk one morning in the makeup chair, when he struck up a chat with “a very nice older lady.

“We started having a lovely conversation and all I could think in my mind was, ‘Where do I know this woman?’” he says.  “I decided that I had probably met her at an audition before.  So we continued to talk and that’s when it hit me.  ‘I’m talking to Rhoda! Valerie Harper is sitting next to me and I’m having a conversation with her.’”

Now I bet she would have known where to find some real hurricanes.

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