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Monday, June 17, 2013

And … cue foreboding underscore: Hell’s Kitchen comes to a city near you.

Posted By on Mon, Jun 17, 2013 at 3:58 PM

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We haven’t gotten our fill (pun intended) after 11 seasons of Sir Gordon Ramsay’s culinary clusterf*ck of a reality television show—but then again, every reality show is a cluter-effer to some degree, and isn’t that the point really? I digress.

Everyone needs some good healthy character-building embarrassment every now and again, and there’s no better way to get it than on national television, of course! That’s why all local food enthusiasts, established restaurateurs, and even just the dude whose culinary knowledge is limited to boiling packaged ramen noodles should head down to Miami’s Eden Roc Renaissance Hotel this Saturday for Hell’s Kitchen Season 12’s open casting call.

Whether you’re hoping for a chance to seriously promote yourself or just to get your 15 seconds of fame, if you make it on the show, you’re guaranteed at least an hour of public humiliation in the form of Chef Ramsay’s famous one-liners (“BLOODY RAW!”/“PISS OFF!”/“YOU DONKEY!”  to name a few

) and manual labor in the kitchen after losing the infamous “Remove the Shrimp Shit-Sacks” Challenge while the other team gets personal massages from Ryan Gosling and a helicopter tour over Dubai.

It’s important to note that attendance of the open call does not ensure acceptance onto the program. It is also important to note that acceptance onto the program does not in any way ensure success/credibility/skill in the fine-dining industry. Producers suggest filling out an application before auditioning and advise attendees not to treat the audition like a job interview. Basically, feel free to stop by and make a fool out of yourself. Let’s face it: Usually, that’s what gets people on TV, not talent. So if you can’t take the heat—or the nonsense—you might want to sit this one out and stay out of the kitchen.

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