Support local journalism. Join the Orlando Weekly Press Club.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

First Shot: This is for â??Dominoâ?�! (SMACK!)

Posted By on Thu, Apr 2, 2009 at 11:27 AM

So Keira Knightley is concerned about violence against women. She's so concerned, in fact, that she's shot a "shocking" PSA about it, in which she confronts the topic with full-on, Rihanna-remakes-Clockwork Orange honesty.

Seriously, I don't know how to feel about this. Like all right-thinking people, I abhor the idea of violence against women. But also like all right-thinking people, I love the idea of violence against Keira Knightley.

It's like my brain is fixing to explode.

(Remember the old kids' show Zoom? Remember the Fannee Doolee segments: "Fannee Doolee loves sweets, but she hates candy"? That's what this feels like.)

Thankfully, I don't have to weather too much guilt, because the clip is so laughable in its simultaneous attempts to be earnest and arty that it's destined to become instant camp-classic viewing at gay bars, alongside vintage ads for the Boy Scouts of America.

If you're playing along at home, here's how the game goes. You take your first drink when the opening sequence clearly establishes that we're about to be immersed in the nightmare world of top-earning performers who live in luxury high-rises. Then you drink again when it's suggested that Keira, as a "serious" actress, has to simulate coitus with her leading men -- just to get in the zone, y'understand. Finally, you chug-a-lug at the priceless moment when our heroine breaks the fourth wall to complain that the beatdown she's about to endure "wasn't in the script," and that she "didn't agree to" it.

Hey, I didn't even get to see the script for King Arthur before I had to sit through it, and you don't see me applying for combat pay.

At press time, it could not be verified whether Knightley believes that people start pollution, and if they can stop it.

Tags: ,

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Orlando Weekly. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Orlando Weekly, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Orlando Weekly Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.

Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.

Join the Orlando Weekly Press Club for as little as $5 a month.


Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Read the Digital Print Issue

January 12, 2022

View more issues


© 2022 Orlando Weekly

Website powered by Foundation