Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Insert "Scalia=Beached Whale" Joke Here

Posted By on Wed, Nov 12, 2008 at 12:02 PM

Someone needs to kick Anthony Kennedy in the nuts. The man's supposed to be our last swinger and he keeps swinging the wrong damn way. 5-4 on gun control. 5-4 on Gitmo. 5-4 on school diversity. According to CNN, one third of cases decided in the last term were done by a 5-4 vote, compared with only a quarter's worth of unanimous cases.

Add to that tally Winter v. Natural Resources Defense Council.


Essentially the case goes that some people were asking the Navy to stop certain sonar testing because it was driving the dolphins and whales insane and they were killing themselves at alarming rates.

Navy says fuck the dolphins. Now, so does the court.

I'm not even going to give you the guilt trip of "Imagine if a bunch of indestructible bees moved into your bedroom and followed you to work, flying in your eyes the whole time, 24 hours a day, until you drive into a tree to end the buzzing." The problem goes well beyond the unnecessary (I'll get to that word) cruelty to a population of intellectually advanced animals.

The problem is, like all environmental problems, we don't know what the problem is. Could killing the dolphins lead to such an over population of algae-feeding fish that we run out of oxygen? (I'd say yes, but we kinda balance that out by way over fishing.) Could rotting whale blubber tip be the last straw for global warming? We won't know until we're facing this disaster going, "Shit. What could we have done differently?"

And as for the Chief Justice Roberts' assertion that "forcing the Navy to deploy an inadequately trained anti-submarine force jeopardizes the safety of the fleet," someone name the last naval battle that wasn't Japanese Zeroes dive-bombing our carriers (all genuine respect to the men who fought on those carriers intended). We know how to find subs. We don't know what to find in a world without sea mammals.

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