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Thursday, August 2, 2007

Bratz

Posted on Thu, Aug 2, 2007 at 4:00 AM

*
Bratz
Studio: Lionsgate
Rated: PG
Cast: Skyler Shaye, Janel Parrish
Director: Sean McNamara
WorkNameSort: Bratz
Our Rating: 1.00
The producers of this lame-brained tie-in say they wanted to scrape the inch-thick mascara off the toy industry's most infamous collection of anorexic prosti-tots and expose the faces of genuine role models shining proudly underneath. The result is a hopelessly confused Mean Girls-pilfering clique flick in which da Bratz show up for the first day of high school and immediately get pulled into separate social scenes defined by their individual abilities and/or interests. Realizing the error of their ways ' a mere two years later ' our heroines set out to prove to the school that it's just as important to pick your BFFs on the basis of shared shopping practices. Calling that a positive spin takes some serious ballz ' as does trapping Jon Voight in his most embarrassing role since Anaconda as well as staging a food-fight scene in which none of the slim-hipped participants hits on the obvious idea of purging to whip up extra ammo.

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