Thursday, May 18, 2006

Poseidon

Posted on Thu, May 18, 2006 at 4:00 AM

*1/2
Poseidon
Studio: Warner Bros.
Rated: PG-13
Cast: Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell, Jacinda Barrett, Richard Dreyfuss, Emmy Rossum
Director: Wolfgang Petersen
WorkNameSort: Poseidon
Our Rating: 1.50
The only way to make this wholly unnecessary remake palatable would have been to up the camp factor into the red zone, but instead of gussying up Harvey Fierstein as Shelley Winters (for example), director Wolfgang Petersen opts for a 'straight, updatedâ?� approach that's actually more ludicrous. Honestly, the thing makes Irwin Allen look tasteful. A tidal wave capsizes a luxury liner, forcing a handful of sketchily drawn survivors to wade and breast-stroke their way to safety through gallons of the cleanest water you'll ever see. Petersen reportedly left a bunch of character-development scenes on the cutting-room floor to get right to the action, which is consistently melodramatic enough (and unbeholden to the laws of physics) to inspire gales of inappropriate yet joyless laughter. The only useful information imparted is that a panicked, drowning Kurt Russell looks and behaves almost exactly like the everyday Josh Lucas.

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