Thursday, March 20, 2003

Lames at sea

Movie: Boat Trip

Posted on Thu, Mar 20, 2003 at 4:00 AM

*
Boat Trip
Length: 1 hour, 33 minutes
Studio: Artisan Entertainment
Website: http://www.boattripthemovie.com/
Release Date: 2003-03-21
Cast: Cuba Gooding Jr., Horatio Sanz, Will Ferrell, Vivica A. Fox, Artie Lange
Director: Mort Nathan
Screenwriter: Mort Nathan, Walter Bigelow
WorkNameSort: Boat Trip
Our Rating: 1.00

If African-American and queer equality were to be judged by their right to produce mall-plex filler as intelligence-negative as those produced by whites and straights, then "Boat Trip" signals a bold stride into an egalitarian utopia of unfettered imbecility. Cuba Gooding Jr. plays Jerry, a perky rich unemployed person whose marriage proposal is turned down by the fake boobs and nose of bitch Felicia (Vivica A. Fox). Along with obese dolt pal Nick (Horatio Sanz), Jerry decides on a cruise, but once at sea, and after a half-hour of leathermen, swishes, and queens, they realize it's a cruise for gay men. Oh my God! Luckily, Nick accidentally shoots down an airplane, thus packing the boat with implanted Scandinavian tanning-oil models, while Jerry charms a Latina rhinoplasty victim (Roselyn Sanchez) by claiming that he's--oh my God--a homo! Fill in the dots: Save $7.

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