Thursday•8
Bob Saget If the public makeover of Bob Saget isn't complete, it isn't for lack of trying. Having misled an entire nation into thinking him a benign family man via his "work" on Full House and America's Funniest Home Videos, Saget required only a few minutes of last year's blue-comedy documentary The Aristocrats to reposition himself as a gleeful pottymouth who could out-profane even George Carlin. His image-teardown project continues this summer with the release of his allegedly savage nature-pic parody Farce of the Penguins (an R-rated project that won us over on the basis of its narrator alone: Samuel L. Jackson). In the meantime, Saget is on tour, getting back to his stand-up roots by acquainting audiences to the cheeky persona that always lurked behind his network-friendly sweaters. He even promises to answer "any questions you had about Full House." But before you ask, remember that this is a guy more likely to hump your dog's leg than coo over a video of it eating ice cream. (7:30 p.m. at Improv Comedy Club & Restaurant; also 7:30 p.m. and 9:45 p.m. Friday, 7:30 p.m., 9:45 p.m. and 11:59 p.m. Saturday; $25; 321-281-8000)
The Disorderly Orderly Another gagmeister who's suffered from an even longer-lived image problem, Jerry Lewis was actually something of an American comedic treasure before he was being deified by the French and broadcasting his unorthodox opinion that women aren't funny. To revisit the happier times of Lewis' idiocy on screen, attend the al fresco Popcorn Flicks screening of 1964's The Disorderly Orderly, in which the future telethon king takes a job at a mental hospital and the obvious staff/patient confusion ensues. It's kind of like Awakenings, only with more mugging. (8 p.m. at Central Park, Winter Park; free; 407-629-0064)
Renewal Here's a positive response to the endless changes Mother Nature has globally inflicted via tsunamis, earthquakes and other catastrophes. Titled Renewal, this collection of expressionistic paintings by Karen Carasik — using deep colors and layers of transparent paint — imparts "an empathic mood engaging the viewer to understand that hope is always the motivation for overcoming challenges in life's journey." Carasik won't be in her usual habitat, COMMA Gallery, where she's done worlds of good for the local art scene. Instead, the classy but odd venue is the Steinway Piano Galleries in commercially crushed Altamonte Springs — a contrast indeed to the earthiness of Carasik's visions. (reception 6 p.m.-8 p.m. at Steinway Hall, Altamonte Springs; through June 30; free; 407-339-3771)
The Spitvalves Yes, punk, you read correctly. Our town's favorite ska-band-that's-not-a-ska-band is back, playing a "reunion" show. (Is it us, or do punk bands really love reunion shows?) And we're happy about it. Like the Supervillains, they fused horns onto punk rock without falling into the super-tight genre strictures of straight-ahead ska bands. While the 'Villains prefer to lope along a dope (cough, cough) groove, sometimes exploding into fits of frenzy, the 'Valves were all frenzy, all the time. They're calling this the "last last show," and we'll believe it when we (don't) see it. But that doesn't mean we're taking this show for granted. (7 p.m. at The Social; $10; 407-246-1419)
Friday•9
Happenstance When asked, dance cognoscente Kip Watson describes his current position in town as the "Old Man of Dance." It's a self-deprecating designation, but at age 66, there's truth to the characterization. Watson has worn many hats — or should we say dancing shoes? — during his career in Orlando, including his prominent turn at Southern Ballet (now Orlando Ballet). But Watson hasn't danced in public for 20 years, and on this night he'll step onstage for several pieces, including a solo he wistfully says, "is a little bit about my life" titled "As I Woke Up and Got It Right." The entire evening's program of works by up-and-coming choreographers will make you laugh and cry, he promises. The plan is to make Happenstance into a series that essentially does for choreographers what the Orlando Fringe Festival has done for playwrights — give them exposure. The intimate venue has proper lighting and a "sprung" dance floor, meaning it gives under pressure for happy dancing. What kind of dancing? Watson quips, "Everything but ballet." (8 p.m. Friday and Saturday, 2 p.m. Saturday and Sunday at Harwood-Watson Dance Studios; $15; 407-228-0005)
Saturday•10
Professional Bull Riders Challenger Tour Eight seconds. That's all that matters to these competitors, but they do it over and over. Forty up-and-coming bull riders from around the country square off for cash, bragging rights and a spot in the big show — the Built Ford Tough Tour. Anything can happen at a PBR event, and the unpredictable bovine dominators make sure that it does. But that's more understandable than what motivates the barbarians who pay to watch grown men get thrown around like rag dolls. (8 p.m. at TD Waterhouse Centre; $10-$41; 407-849-2001)
Wildlife Photography by Milton Heiberg Two-for-one is a common strategy at Crealdé School of Art in Winter Park, and here's another exponential event. Photography instructor Milton Heiberg and his students will show off the results of their brushes with the wild in the community gallery, where an open house also will be underway to register for the summer's visual art classes and kiddie camps. But there's even more to draw attention: In the main gallery, a shared exhibition of sculptures and constructions by New York artist Lanny Lasky and Florida artist Francis Miller continues through July 8. The duo share a fascination for repurposing flea-market finds into whatnots that express their personal histories. That is, Lasky's "general observation of the psyche, using elements that evoke nostalgia, horror, and humor," as well as Miller's "searches for traces of domestic disharmony and dysfunctionality." (Heiberg opening reception 11 a.m.-2 p.m. at Crealdé School of Art; free; 407-671-1886)
Sunday•11
Orlando Runners Club 30th Anniversary 5K Run The Orlando Runners Club is a serious organization. Members train and compete in local races and get more accomplished by 8 a.m. than many of us do (like getting out of bed). So, members are celebrating the club's anniversary by … what else? Running. Non-club members are invited to attend and all are eligible for awards, which will be given out to the top three female finishers, top three male finishers and top male and female race walkers in each age group. Proceeds from the race will go toward future ORC events. (7:30 a.m. at Jay Blanchard Park; $25; www.orlandorunnersclub.org)
Tuesday•13
The New Cars/Blondie If you've heard that new song by the New Cars, then you thought what we did: "Boy, Todd Rundgren does a damn good job of sounding like Ric Ocasek without, you know, sounding like Ric Ocasek." Our feelings are mixed about this show, but we can't help but recommend it. Ocasek's not on board, for some admirable philosophical reasons, but in the end, it's (most of) the goddamn Cars. The band that, along with Cheap Trick, made some of the best passive-aggressive power-pop ever. Plus, after Debbie Harry showed her true colors at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame induction, we've gone from loving her to wishing she'd hang it up to thinking she's completely awesome again. Anyone else would have tried to be all political and nice, but Debbie's having none of that, and that's why we love her (again) so much. However, we ask that her band be referred to as the New Blondie. (7 p.m. at Hard Rock Live; $46.75-$76.75; 407-351-5483)
Contributors: Jason Ferguson, Amber Foster, Steve Schneider, Lindy T. Shepherd