Selections: Our picks of the week's best events, Dec. 30-Jan. 5 

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Wednesday, Dec. 30

Florida Citrus Parade

EVENTS Spirited high-school and college bands from across the country! Signature floats made from thousands of pieces of fruit! Familiar faces and characters from Orlando's attractions! And specialty units, whatever those are! The website of the Florida Citrus Parade promises all of these things, though it doesn't answer our most pressing question: Was any actual citrus harmed in the making of this parade? (Our guess, judging by the pungent juice aroma: Yes.) If you love a parade, or you just love standing around downtown, don't miss this processional of orange-studded flatbeds. The Citrus Parade is televised across the country, so this is your chance to make Northerners jealous as you gently perspire for the camera on the day before New Year's Eve. – Jessica Bryce Young

11 a.m. | Downtown Orlando, starting at Orange Avenue and Robinson Street | | free; grandstand tickets $29

Wednesday, Dec. 30

Arkie Is Moving to Phoenix

MUSIC Arkie Calkins has been a prolific member of Orlando's music scene for more than a few years. He brought depth to bubblegum-psych group Moon Jelly's sound as their percussionist. His experiment with Moon Jelly bandmate Tim Murray, Zenas Fisk, utilized nothing but cell phones, pedals and Twitter to create atmospheric space jams of varying note. As a solo act, Ark, Calkins put out an EP this year, Songs in the Key of I, which captured his love of experimental pop over four sun-dappled tracks. As the former drummer in weirdo party band Alias Punch, Calkins helped organize Radioshaq, a series of Shaq-themed shows in Mills 50. Where the 2012's show's "Where's Arkie?" gimmick ostensibly sent Calkins tumbling through space-time in the gap between the second and third Radioshaqs, this farewell show is no hoax. Calkins and his wife, Winter (of Shine Shed fame), are headed out to Phoenix, Arizona, to further their respective arts. So this is the swan song of the original lineup of Alias Punch and the current configuration of Moon Jelly, along with the last Ark show in town for a while. Best of luck to Arkie and Winter. We hope you don't become strangers. – Thaddeus McCollum

with ARK, Moon Jelly, Alias Punch | 9 p.m. | Will's Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave. | | $5

Thursday, Dec. 31

Furry Eve

EVENTS Furries – adults who like to dress up in anthropomorphic animal outfits à la theme park characters – don't necessarily sexualize the hobby. But a lot of them do. And for this party, which we think is the most unique NYE bash you'll have the opportunity to witness this year, sexy is on the table. Mingle with others interested in sultry giraffes, foxy foxes and the like, then catch a burlesque performance from dancers dressed up like your favorite vixens, ponies and more. Furry costumes aren't mandatory, but they are encouraged, so at least strap a tail to your rear or don a pair of fuzzy ears. You wouldn't want to seem like a weirdo, after all. – TM

9:30 p.m. | The Venue, 511 Virginia Drive | 407-412-6895 | | $20-$25

Thursday, Dec. 31

Kristin Chenoweth

MUSIC Tired of that depressing New Year's Eve party you go to every year where the drinks aren't even good? You could do it again this year, or you could join Broadway star Kristin Chenoweth in welcoming 2016 at the Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts. The Tony and Emmy award-winning star is bringing her pipes to Orlando for a performance with special guest Cheyenne Jackson. If you don't go just for the pleasure of hearing Chenoweth sing "Defying Gravity," the all-inclusive ticket packages come with a champagne toast, drink tickets, party favors and an afterparty that goes until the wee hours. – Monivette Cordeiro

8 p.m. | Walt Disney Theater, Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts, 445 S. Magnolia Ave. | 844-513-2014 | | $110-$250

Thursday, Dec. 31

Talk Yo Shit!

MUSIC Oh, you've got options for New Year's Eve, sure. But if you are the kind of person who's drawn to Talk Yo Shit!'s jk-elitist dance night vibe, you know you've got options every silly day. What Talk Yo Shit! serves to do with recurring parties downtown (typically at the Patio) is create a chill space for freaks to feel at ease. For this special New Year's Eve iteration, the minglers meander over to the Social for a bigger blowout locale that meets DJ Fiona Trapple's high standards to properly host his particular breed of party people. If this all sounds insidery, show up to gawk. If you know what's up, this will be some of the purest fun this night to wring out the faded sweat rag that was 2015 and ring in the bright potential of 2016. Bonus: There are prizes, drink specials and additional vibes provided by B8TA and Andre, bumping trap, bass, soul, funk and future. – Ashley Belanger

with Fiona Trapple, Andre, B8TA | 10 p.m. | The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave. | 407-246-1419 | | free

Sunday, Jan. 3

Uncomfortable Brunch Presents: Blue Velvet

FILM Our favorite addition to last year's film scene was the monthly Uncomfortable Brunch at Will's Pub. The conceit is simple: Watch an unsettling art film with a bunch of strangers while noshing on brunch and knocking back Bloody Marys. Their slate for 2016 looks particularly solid, too, with viewings of Straw Dogs, Breaking the Waves and Pink Flamingos scheduled. But their 2016 kick-off session may eclipse all of those. As Uncomfortable Brunch main man Joshua Martin says, "To be called 'Uncomfortable Brunch' and not show Blue Velvet is so absurd that to even consider it is deserving of public mockery." The 1986 David Lynch film features one of the most unsettling performances of all time in Dennis Hopper's psychotic Frank. The exploration of the seedy underbelly of a seemingly quiet town inspired Lynch and Mark Frost to expand the concept into a series, Twin Peaks. We don't want to give anything away for those who haven't seen it, but suffice to say that you should order Heineken at your own peril. – TM

noon | Will's Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave. | | | $10-$12

Tuesday, Jan. 5

The Bohemian Woods

LITERARY Even the best writer needs a prompt sometimes, just a little goose to the subconscious to get the engine purring. Tod Caviness, former host of the long-running but now-defunct spoken-word series Speakeasy, is here to give Orlando's poets that goose: Unable to stay away from the stand-up-and-tell-a-tale scene, he's back with a new monthly series. The Bohemian Woods promises a current-events twist – writers will interpret the news of the day as "satirical shorts, erotic poetry ... or none of the above." Local talent for the January debut of the series includes noted swag-possessors Ashley Inguanta, Jesse Bradley, Jared Silvia, Trevor Fraser and Robbi Ramirez. Litlando, you've been warned. – JBY

8 p.m. | The Imperial at Washburn Imports, 1800 N. Orange Ave. | (sic) | free

Tuesday, Jan. 5

Snarky Puppy

MUSIC Drawing on the unique musical mastery of a rotating lineup of more than 40 musicians, Snarky Puppy is an elite and imaginative funk-fueled force that has forever changed its dedicated audience (or more accurately: community) for the better. The near-unparalleled musicianship of this vastly creative jam band earned them a Grammy nod for their 2015 album, Sylva, for Best Contemporary Instrumental Album, encouraging longtime fans and new groove seekers to equally swarm with great interest. – Ashley Belanger

7 p.m. | The Plaza Live, 425 N. Bumby Ave. | 407-228-1220 | | $29.50-$49.50


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