Seeing stars 

A business-consulting firm teaching how to use astrology to increase profits was inaugurated this May in San Francisco by two former telecommunications executives (and ex-Marines). Bruce Cady and lawyer Tom Mitchell founded Jupiter Returns to show executives, for example, that a failed business collaboration may have been prevented simply by understanding that one's associates "(act) out their (astrological) program." Mitchell told the San Francisco Chronicle that the firm's best customers are women.

Cock teaser

Performance artists and computer gamers staged a cockfight night in a basement in Los Angeles' Chinatown in October, attracting about 200 people to go down-culture, drink beer, and wager on "roosters" flapping and pecking and clawing at each other -- except that the cocks were humans dressed in garish rooster outfits. Tech people had rigged the outfits with sensors to register the effectiveness of the fighters on a large screen that exhibited virtual blood.


For an anniversary tribute to Sept. 11 victims, the city of Jersey City, N.J., planned to release a flock of doves at a downtown ceremony, but since officials waited until the last minute to order the doves, all suppliers were sold out. Jersey City wound up having to use pigeons (which had been caged most of their lives), and observers at the solemn ceremony were forced to witness the awkward birds smashing into office-building windows, plunging into the Hudson River and careening into the crowds.

Hospital scrubs

Teri-Lynn Tibbo filed a lawsuit in October charging that doctors at St. Martha's Regional Hospital in Antigonish, Nova Scotia, not only left a 15-inch-by-20-inch surgical towel inside her after a hysterectomy but opened her wound eight more times in the next four months to drain it, never suspecting that a towel was there.

Another hospital, Meadow Lake, in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, was sued in October by Rebecca Chinalquay, who charged that while she was in the delivery room in labor, all personnel had stepped out so that when little Tyler emerged, there was no one to help, and he slid off the gurney onto the floor. He's OK now, but Chinalquay fear later problems.

Bear-market bull

A clerical error caused the large investment firm Bear Stearns to place orders on Oct. 2 to sell not the intended $4 million worth of stocks but 1,000 times that much. The company was able to recover about 85 percent of the sold stock and told a Reuters reporter that the remaining loss (the sale of only 152 times as much stock as intended) would have no material impact on the company. An early edition of the next day's Wall Street Journal inadvertently carried a report of the mishap on the same page as a Bear Sterns ad that touted the firm's ability to "execute complex transactions flawlessly," but the story was placed elsewhere in subsequent editions.

Small arm of the law

Sheriff's deputies in Marion County, Ind., said in September that passenger Kevin Small's right arm was severed in a one-car collision as he and a buddy were taking a nightclub dancer home after her shift. According to deputies, when Small and the driver asked the dancer for sex, she refused and started fighting with the men, causing driver Richard Everhart to lose control of the car and crash, taking Small's arm off. The dancer was uninjured; Small's hand was recovered but not the rest of his arm.

There's no 'I' in Teamster

Teamsters Local 988 opened its brand-new meeting hall in Houston this August, to unfavorable reviews by representatives of local union members including construction workers, plumbers, electricians and other tradesmen. According to a Houston Chronicle report, the Teamsters had the hall built with nonunion labor because union work was too expensive.

Pump kin

Bill Saintclair Patton, 45, was convicted of indecent exposure in Warren, Mich., this September, and sentenced to 90 days in jail; he was the subject of neighbors' complaints after he appeared nude in his backyard and used a pumpkin to sexually gratify himself.

And Ross Watt, 33, was convicted of disorderly conduct in Edinburgh, Scotland, in October after witnesses and police testified that he rolled around on the ground, simulating sexual intercourse with an orange-and-white traffic cone.

Potty animals

In September, a 43-year-old nude boater docked at a waterside restaurant in Stratford, Conn. and defecated on shoreline rocks, to the astonishment of diners, who chose the restaurant for its waterfront views.

Green Bay Packers football player Najeh Davenport accepted community service in October to settle a charge that he broke into a Miami-area university dormitory and defecated in a woman's wardrobe closet.

Philadelphia Gas Works paid $4,500 in October to settle a complaint that an employee (since fired), sent to turn a customer's gas back on, urinated on his valuable collection of sports cards.

Speaking of News Of The Weird

More by Chuck Shepherd


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