SAVAGE LOVE 


;I've been dating a wonderful guy for four months. We enjoy each other's company immensely; we laugh a lot and he fucks like a champ — definitely a keeper. The issues I have with him are manageable, but I don't know how to broach these subjects: He has a dental bridge that looks like it's in serious need of a change. He also uses his floor as his closet. I'm not sure if I'm being judgmental and superficial. I think he'd be even finer than he is if he fixed his teeth and cleaned his house. How do I bring this up without offending him? Should I bring it up?

;;Just That Into Him

;;

;;Go ahead and bring up the bridge right away, JTIH, as he's probably not all that sensitive about it. More likely he, like so many straight men, is just a little oblivious to his personal appearance. And as to the condition of his apartment — have you considered picking up after him? Not now, of course, at four months. You're still just dating. But if this gets serious and you move in with him, you can solve his cleanliness issues by, you know, cleaning for him.

;

;Shhh. Do you hear that rumbling sound? That's a million angry women and 25 feminist men pounding out angry e-mails to me. "It was extraordinarily sexist of you to suggest that this woman clean up after this man," tap tap tap, blah blah blah.

;

;I may be extraordinarily sexist, but my comments are motivated by my own personal experience in long-term relationships, not misogyny — none of my LTRs have involved any "gyny" for me to "miso" on. Take, for example, my boyfriend: He does my laundry, shops for me and cooks for me. I don't expect him to do these things for me because he's a woman. He does these things because he's good at them, while I'm bad at them — and he actually seems to like taking care of me. I like taking care of him, too: I move things, kill things and pay for things.

;

;So if my boyfriend can pick up after me, I wonder why you can't pick up after your guy? If things work out and you fall in love and you move in and get married or whatever, what are you signing up for — to take care of each other, right? Well, he clearly needs someone to take care of making dentist appointments and straightening up. How will he take care of you? Does he cook? Fix your car? Do your taxes? Knit you sweaters? If there's some semblance of balance, if there's cheerful reciprocity, then why not do his damn laundry?

;

;

;;I'm a GGG woman and I'm fat. I don't have a problem with my fatness and neither do the guys I have been with. However, I do have a problem with this: Tons of men want to fuck me, but none want to date me. All the boys I find are willing to worship me in the confines of the boudoir, but out in public they act like they don't want to be seen with me. I'm not asking for PDA — I generally dislike PDA — but hanging out and occasionally going out after sexing it up would be grand. Are all fat-girl-loving guys pussies?

;;No More Dater Haters

;;

;;Not all, but almost all of the young ones.

;

;Until about, oh, age 30 or so, most men aren't secure enough in their own sexualities to do or say anything that might out themselves to their friends as anything other than "normal." Guys who wanna wear panties or tie up girls or get pissed on can pursue their kinks without having to reveal anything about their sexuality to their friends. So long as they date girls who are either completely discreet or just as fearful of exposure, their secrets are safe. But a guy into fat women isn't so lucky — if he's seen with you in public, NMDH, he's going to have some explaining to do.

;

;This completely pansy-assed fear of not being perceived as "normal" results in many straight men dating, and in some tragic instances marrying, women their friends find attractive, not women they themselves find attractive. But there's only so long a man can go on boning Nicole Richie when what he really wants is to bone you. Eventually these guys come to the realization that a lifetime of sexual frustration is a high price to pay for "normal" cred.

;

;

;;The thing you missed about Jason Fortuny's Craigslist experiment was that it doesn't take a load of kinkiness to be turned on by a submissive woman. What straight male doesn't fantasize about having a sexy female slave? Fortuny wasn't against people with fetishes, he was against males with such a banal fetish. He was baiting the natural chauvinist tendencies in his fellow males.

;;Paul B.

;;

;;Wow — was I wrong! Jason Fortuny isn't an asshole who invaded the privacy and potentially ruined the lives of dozens of men. No! He's the Fantasy Thought Police, to say nothing of fantasy judge, jury and executioner. And now that Officer Fortuny has made an example of men into submissive women (so banal!), he can move on to punishing women with rape fantasies (so common!), fags into cops and firemen (so clichéd!), and lesbians into, er, whatever it is that kinky lesbians are into (so squishy!).

;

;Sorry, I'm not buying it. Not all men into BDSM are chauvinist pigs. There are tons of misogynist males out there into vanilla sex. (Don't believe me? Ask a female friend — if you have one.) There's no rhyme or reason to most people's fantasies; there are submissive male misogynists, cracker racists into black cock, and desperately homophobic pole smokers.

;

;There's just no excuse for Fortuny's actions — none whatsoever.

mail@savagelove.net

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