;I recently met the straight cousin of a good friend. On the night of our first meeting, I ended up rimming, blowing and getting fucked by him. And he blew me — badly. Since then, I've given him another blow job. That night he slept with his arms around me and he repeatedly muttered to me — drunkenly — that he loves me!


;I am not in the market for a fucked-up only-straight-when-sober boyfriend. But I do want to have sex with him. Now he wants to go on vacation with me and I don't know if I want to keep messing around with this "straight" hottie, even if he does have a beautiful, big, juicy cock. It's not like I can see marrying him. What is a confused gay guy to do?


;Straight Cousin Unlikely Marry

;;Keep jumping on that beautiful, big, juicy cock, of course.


;We advice professionals are never supposed to advise people — at least in print — to jump on a beautiful, big, juicy cock unless there's a chance they'll ride that cock all the way to the altar. Did Ann Landers — at whose desk I am delighted to be typing the phrase "beautiful, big, juicy cock" — advise a single reader to jump on a beautiful, big, juicy cock once in the 16 decades she was writing her column? No.


;It's not just that my advice-giving colleagues disapprove of premarital and/or no-possibility-of-marital sex. The whole culture has a problem with it. We all believe that sex should have some noble purpose — in theory, at least. The possibility of marriage is just the easiest and most obvious. But sex can have a noble purpose even when marriage is out of the question. One day BBJC is going to have to reconcile the person he is — and the people he fucks — when he's drunk with the person he is when he's sober. Every night he spends with you brings that day of reckoning 8 or 9 inches closer. So take the straight boy and his beautiful, big, juicy cock on vacation for his sake, if not your own.


;;I am a 48-year-old gay man and have been in a monogamous relationship with a wonderful man for 20 years. We have sex about once every three or four weeks. This is plenty for me, but my husband's libido seems to be getting much stronger than mine. About two years ago, he asked that we add "adventure" to our sex life. He has bought dildos, vibrators and leather garb and wants me to use them. He wants me to call him fuckhole or slaveboy when we are intimate, and he wants to try nude vacations and three-ways. I should add that my husband is coming up on 40 and is quite the hottie. I, on the other hand, have not aged as gracefully. We also have small children and I don't think it is appropriate to have these things in the house. Last week, he asked me to take him to a resort he found online for his 40th where I can fuck him in front of other men. Is this a normal gay midlife/about-to-turn-40 crisis?

;;Slaveboy's Husband Has Hesitations

;;No, it's not, SHHH, but is that relevant? Because, like it or not, this is the midlife crisis that your husband is having — not that I would normally characterize a strong libido as a crisis. To me it sounds like someone who settled down at 19 and wants to live a little while he's still limber enough to really enjoy it.


;I'm sorry, but it's your duty to indulge the little fuckhole. When two people marry, they're not only making a solemn vow to be there in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, but also to be complete and total whores for each other. It would save countless marriages if this were made explicit in standard marriage vows. (Perhaps the American Family Association could get on this.)


;As for your issues, bringing sex toys into a house with small children? You won't be the first or last parents with a lock on their bedroom closet. Slaveboy and fuckhole? Perhaps not every time you have sex, but a little dirty talk isn't too much to ask. Three-ways? Well, that's something you have to be down with or it could do permanent damage to your relationship. I prescribe more discussion. Public sex in skeezy gay resorts? Most skeezy gay resorts allow nudity, but don't require it. He can run around naked and you can remain clothed. As for the public sex, if you agree to go to the resort, he has to agree to take no — and take it cheerfully — for an answer if you don't feel comfortable doing him with witnesses.


;He's a wonderful man. He has needs. ;Meet 'em.


;;Before my wife and I were married, I told her about my cuckold fetish. She was into it and was great in every other way, so I married her. A year later, she said it was time for us to grow up, end of discussion. I offered a compromise: I'd jerk off if she makes up stories about fucking other guys. No deal. You've said that it's OK to go outside of the marriage to seek satisfaction when a spouse refuses to help out. Obviously, this is impossible. Am I doomed to jerking off alone with my fantasies for the rest of my life?

;;Unlucky In Cuckoldry

;;No, you're not, UIC, because you're going to get a divorce.

;;You were upfront about your fetish, and your wife presented herself to you as someone not just willing and able, but delighted. And you married her in part because you were sexually compatible. If she felt that cuckolding wasn't something that adults should do — was she a toddler when she was cuckolding you? — then she was obligated to say so before the wedding.

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